happiness in chocolate

i'm having a big, nice romantic affair with chocolate. yes it's been done before... chocolate replacing guys... now i'd like to make it very very clear that i'm not one of those girls that "eats her feelings" no i'm not. i eat a lot. but that's cause i like food not depressed. chocolate is just so much better than guys... they're sweeter. they're yummy. they're white. and the happy hippos are really cute! how could u not love that adorable face with the sugared-up smile.
i'm in love. and so jeans - STOP trying to set me up. i'm taken. hippo will be very offended and never give up another one of his kind to satisfy ur hunger.
oh and our song is "candyman..."

yip yip

i was speaking to a friend of mine today about marriage and kids. yes, it sounds a bit scary, but this friend of mine has just celebrated her 6 year anniversary with her boyfriend. yep that's right, 6 years of relatively smooth sailing (i had to ask). the idea of that is probably even more scary. SO i guess that's how we ended up on the marriage talk.

which brings me to my thought for the night. sure, we're young/single/attached/whatever. but how do you ever know when you're ready for marriage? and what happens if you'll never be ready?

i like to think the idea of marriage and kids (with/without current significant other) hits you like a lightning bolt. some probably spend their entire lifetime waiting for that damn lightning bolt to make an appearance. or they get lots of lightning bolts. also not a good thing. and not only that, society and our friends actually ENCOURAGE the idea of marriage and kids. the white picket fence, husband, 2.5 kids and a dog. basically, the whole package.

is it so wrong to NOT want it all?

i guess i'll have to wait a few more years for my answer. the same friend finished off our talk with "i think i'll know by 10 years whether marriage is the go". i'll be lucky if i last 10 WEEKS with anyone let alone 10 years.

so who wants the package out there? and who, like me, is going to forego it (ok maybe i'll have a dog)?

QUESTION

WHAT DOES ONE DO WHEN ONE'S SIGNIFICANT OTHER CALLS YOU UGLY? AND A COW?

ABSTINENCE FROM YOU KNOW WHAT. POSSIBLY THE BEST FORM OF PUNISHMENT.

mastercard

replacing one lost student id card: $20
replacing one lost access card: $10
helga getting excercise then pigging out in library: priceless

sky high dudes! feels good to be home
have a little faith in me

ror

blast from the past - word of the day

RIDICULOUS.

as in...

• RIDDIKULUS (i love you remus lupin)
• as in it costs stupid $20 to replace a 3cmx5cm piece of paper with some ink, numbers and a hideous photo
• as in i'm locked outside my class cos i've lost my access card
• as in this incredibly hour i am up
• the girl's ugly ugly ugly next to me

pop quiz next time kids!

pill popping

one pill three times a day until the pack finishes.

olga hates taking antibiotics.

anzac day may be double pay public holiday, but i'm glad i have it off.

that is all.

kermit

so much green.
it's so pretty don't you think?

me

firstly...I AM INDEPENDENT.
i will let you guys work out how i have been declared independet. the choices really aren't that hard to choose from.

secondly...i am drawn to what this predicts about me.

I am born in the month of July. I am fun to be with. secretive. difficult to fathom and to be understood. quiet unless excited or tensed. takes pride in oneself. has reputation. easily consoled. honest. concerned about people's feelings. tactful. friendly. approachable. emotional tempermental and unpredicatable. moody and easily hurt. witty and sparkly. not revengeful. forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. guides pthers physically and mentally. sensitive and forms impressions carefully. caring and loving. treats others equally. strong sense of sympathy. wary and sharp. judges people through observations. hardworking. no difficulties in studying.

this i have to say is certainly one of the best ones to almost describe me to a tee (with a few hmm's i don't think so).

so are you who you think you are? or have we all just been good enough actors to earn ourselves a little oscar to keep too?

do- do- do- le-

well i'll be damned.
i'm independent if :

• i've been a member of a couple for at least 12 months
• or both my parents are dead

the things our government will subject us too.

BASTARD #2

ASIAN LEGOLAS IS A BASTARD.

oh my f-ing lord

1. i apologise for the semi-swearing
2. i apologise for errr...any religious offense
3. i apologise for the following words
   

THERE IS AN ASIAN LEGOLAS AND I THINK I AM IN LOVE WITH HIM.

BASTARDS

in response to the below post. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR CHEATING. i repeat. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR CHEATING.

if these assholes who cheat as a defense mechanism really think that's a valid reason and there are probably many of them out there...where are all the good men in the world?

we all like to reassure ourselves that there are always extenuating circumstances, even when it comes to cheating. but there isn't. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR CHEATING. it's like cheating on a test. you might get away with it. but it will always be there in the back of your mind that you cheated. eating away at your conscience, slowly but surely.

ok so it's not the same because many males don't actually HAVE a conscience. then we hand it over to karma and hope these assholes get what they deserve.

you can't justify cheating. men AND women cheat. it's not gender exclusive (although asshole males probably tend to do it more).

and there you have olga's opinion. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR CHEATING. this isn't meant to be righteous. it's just right.

what men want

firstly, i am determined to flood this blog with green. green here. green there. green everywhere.
secondly, i am stuck in a bit of a pickle dill.

is it justified for men to cheat when they have been cheated on previously? common reasoning from men behind this is that we women have hurt these guys so badly, that the traumatising effect has caused them to develop their own defense mechanism. that they are thinking of the bigger picture and if that current r'ship fails, then:

• they won't feel the hurt as much
• that if the girl does turn out to cheat on the guy anyway, then if the guy does it first, they're "one up" on the girl

now those reasonings are just a collection of views from british guys, and the same british guys came up with these reasonings as to why men cheat too:

1. they need to cheat cos it helps their ego, they need to inflate their egos more.
   
2. they're in pursuit of the "perfect sex"
3. cos they can

so why do men really cheat? and can they actually justify?
part two coming up - men and breaking up. but first, breakfast.

sunshine and lolliepops

can you see what time i am awake at today???? can you see??!?!?!

remix

i'm off to america
i'm off to america
hi ho a merry o!
i'm off to america!

hi ho a merry o!

i'm off to centerlink
i'm off to centerlink
hi ho a merry o!
i'm off to centerlink!

narcisso for me

so it seems this blog is taking on a "couples" theme for the time being. what with all the problems, challenges, fun adventures that couples face in their quest for coupledom, and us feeling the need to post about it all....ranging from the great expectations that we all have from our most beloved ones to how they frustrate us to h**l (still in the spirit of easter), many a wonderful questions are running through this lovely head of mine.

so let's start at the beginning. the ULTIMATE question.

what is the point of a relationship? why are we driven (besides genetics, need for evolution, and the law of procreation) to find THE ONE/our soulmate/love of our life?

now i would've answered this burning question myself, but it seems i was pipped at the post. someone else has attempted to answer the question. found it quite amusing, slightly eye opening, and even slightly possibly disturbing. read me for answer. (p.s. hi kerry!)

i'm also open to other people's views on the matter. in life matters such as this, it's nice to get a wide range of opinions. so hit me with it buds! why are you driven to find your perfect mate?

grill'd to perfection

so passes another easter. a few days spent at home. lots of chocolate. and double pay for working a public holiday. such simple pleasures in life. much like writing silly posts for the world to read. much like this one. i think i'll call it...

great expectations
tonight's question is...what, dear readers, do you expect from a relationship? if we conducted a survey of today's young whippersnappers, we might get such answers as "comfort, security, a personal chauffeur, companionship, all expenses paid for, a good time, la la la". you get the drift. opinions are spread far and wide, and so they should be.

so what happens when the expectations of a couple are completely off? no big drama if a compromise is reached and both parties are happy. a bit trickier when they are on completely different wavelengths when it comes to what each want from a relationship. hmm. a potential dilemma methinks. who has to change? and is it fair that one person has to and the other not?

ok. so i'm female and this probably sounds a lot more complicated than it should be. BUT it does happen. it seems this world is not a perfect hollywood story. and the only way we ever really know what someone else wants is to pin them down and beat it out of them.

i'm kidding.

what i mean is you gotta talk the talk...before you can walk the walk.

cute cat

out of curiosity, who actually really reads our blog?

cute-cute-cute-sack!!

i've got a flash of brillance! a flash of inspiration! a flash of thunder!

in our day and age, what with constant lack of time and increasing laziness associated with our lives, it has come to my attention just how hard it is to find yourself a good partner. solution?

ebay. well maybe not to that extreme. but similar.

now with better cutting edge technology, we're getting more comfortable with shopping online for our goods. translate that to the world wide web of dating and presto! instead of buying that pair of pants, you just happen to get a guy in them as well. let's call it the 2 for 1 deal. and it's all done in the comfort of your own home. as one smart cookie said once, the internet is her darlin. who else let's her pay her bills naked? not a question i wanted an answer to personally.

and someone too worked out the maths. at any given time there's approximately 20 million single guys out there of legal age. take away half for those who bat on the same side as their own genders, you're left with 10 million. take away another 5 for those behind bars and bad acne, you're left with 5 million. that's still a healthy number!

list your attributes, name your starting price and bid, bid, bid!

p.s. i love john cusack (cute-cute-cute-sack!!). the perfect man, of intellect, wit, and sense of humor. what more could a girl ask for?

side swiped

i think i am a perfect specimen to be studied by psychologists for any behavioural disorder abnormalities. no wonder the human mind can be so fascinating, there are no two people who are the same, think the same, and act the same.

but then what is normal and what is not? who designated that line that when crossed you get an "INSANE" stamp across the back of your hand ala homer simpson style? oh well at least there's the chance of meeting michael jackson in there.

it's amazing how much one can learn about themselves from a very bad night of restless sleeping. getting knocked out of your comfort zone can be have its beneficial effects, even though you don't see it at the time and it makes you uncomfortable as h**l (in the spirit of easter).

sooo happy easter everyone. a good good friday to you, and you, and you.

hope we all find the answers we're looking for, the silver lining we're searching for, and the sleep we've been craving for.

it's still my b'day

well technically this blog doesn't belong to you!!

now its my turn. arrghh..... development psych. report sucks!!!!
there are no implication if the results didn't prove anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
goddamn stupid mother blah blah!
shaz cheats in 123! and i always got hairy ones. no fair. guys should shave more... and side burns... a huge note guys... girls don't think it's cool funky or in any way desirable. shave. get ur razors out and shave! and if u have a nice shaped head... do ur head as well.
i can't wait until tomorrow.
godfather here i come....

no more birthday

no more birthday. but it was lovely anyway. right down to SMSs from 7.34am in the morning to the 12.50am (50 mins too late) one when i was asleep.

mum made me a lovely dinner. i had apple pie for dessert. and there is still leftover cake.

now i have to go back to work. boohoo.

take this

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!
WHY??
JUST COS I WANT TO WISH MYSELF A HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF
SO....
COME ON EVERYONE.
JOIN IN
IT'S FUN
YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO
IT MAKES A HAPPY SONG
SO WHY NOT JOIN HANDS
AND SING A LONG
TO A GREAT SONG
THAT EVERYONE KNOWS
AND EVERYONE LOVES
AND EVERYDAY IS SUNG
TO SPECIAL PEOPLE
LIKE YOU AND ME
BUT MORE TO ME
COS ITS A SPECIAL DAY
FOR A SPECIAL PERSON
WHO HAPPENS TO BE ME
AND ME
AND ME
AND OH LOOK!
MAYBE EVEN YOU TOO
BUT THEN DON'T WORRY
IF IT'S NOT YOUR DAY
OR NOT YOUR TIME
IT DOESN'T MATTER
COS IT'S STILL A SPECIAL SONG
AND SPECIAL SONGS
DESERVED TO BE SUNG
BY SPECIAL PEOPLE
TO OTHER SPECIAL PEOPLE
SO IF YOU ARE A SPECIAL PERSON
OR IF YOU'RE NOT A SPECIAL PERSON
THEN JOIN HANDS
GIVE EACH OTHER A HUG
MAYBE A KISS
IF YOU'RE NAUGHTY
OR ADVENTUROUS
OR WANT TO BE THROWN INTO JAIL
SO THAT WE MAY ALL
JOIN IN
AND SING
MY SPECIAL SONG
TO ME
ARE YOU READY?
I AM READY?
1....
2....
3....
4....
HIP HIP HOORAY!
WE'VE ALL DONE IT
A SPECIAL SONG
FOR A SPECIAL SOMEONE
LIKE THAT PERFECT MAN
OUT THERE
SOMEWHERE
FAR FAR AWAY
IF THE PERFECT MAN
DOES ACTUALLY EXIST
BUT THEN
IF HE DOES
DOES NOT THAT MEAN
THE PERFECT WOMAN EXISTS TOO
BUT THEN WHERE IS SHE?
WHERE DOES SHE HIDE?
WHAT MAKES HER PERFECT?
HOW DO WE FIND HER?
OH
SO
MANY QUESTIONS
SO LITTLE TIME
TO ANSWER THEM ALL
BUT WE MUST
START SOMEWHERE
AND WHERE
IS THE PERFECT PLACE TO START?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME AGAIN

i just wanted to have a red post at the top all day.

nothing eventful has happened besides being sent to ESPRIT on my DAY OFF to get clothes for my sister.

i have yet to finish my cake. along with the leftover dips, rice crackers, easter eggs, vodka cruisers and 4 bottles of soft drink.

yah!

princess pea

okay i don't believe that the challenge i set out was successfully completed. i mean how many "anonymous" can there be out there? lots. so many that i even run out of fingers and toes. so i need prove. substantial prove.

secondly, plonka olga putting your candles back on and lighting them and blowing them out again is sad. at least let bella play with the candles. and who do you think anonymous is? and why muahahahahahahaha-ing?

and i'm still waiting for that very valid reason as to why i should get a pap smear test.

and for all who have been concerned for me (yes i know that would be a very small few) over the last week/week and a half let me just say that i have fully embraced my new health responsibilities. I HAVE EATEN VEGETABLES. GREEN VEGETABLES. IT WAS CELERY. IT HAD NO TASTE. I EVEN HAD LENTILS. IT TOO HAD NO TASTE. GO VEGETABLES AND LENTILS.

P.S I LOVE LOGAN. can someone throw me a male yale party????

happy birthday to ME!!!

another year coming round the bend...and in roughly 30 minutes time, i will turn 22. whoopee!

actually it's not that exciting. apart from celebrating the anniversary of my birth. now that's the only kind of anniversary i like.

i even have leftover cake to enjoy. i might even put the candles back on, light them and blow them out again. hehe.

three cheers for me!

p.s. welcome to...mister anonymous #50 something. hello, and enjoy...i think i know who you are. muahahahahahahaha

alpha gents

apparently i set out a challenge for a particular person to find this blog. i have no idea if that person has attempted, is attempting or has simply given up. well good luck to you i say! not only in finding our little corner of the world wide web but perhaps more in understanding our blog.

just remember, probably the best way to get what we're talking about is:

1. imagine we're right there talking to you except we're the only ones talking
2. don't bother trying to understand, we don't either really
3. ask some of our more faithful readers some for some tips
4. ask for a direct translation

i'm waiting.
p.s. olga explain to me the urgency in needing to get your nominated test.

health nut

oh how i have so let myself go. since parents have left this wonderful expanse known as "Australia" i have thrown all caution to the wind about my diet, my weight, and my health. good thing that i'm pretty comfortable with my body, and good thing the significant other is pretty darn well smart to not go there.

but in light with being told that i (may) have antisocial personality disorder and my only poor excuse of a defense is me proclaiming loudly "but i am financially responsible!!!", it struck me as hard as lightening does to one poor sucker in the middle of the green, green fields and meadows that we are getting to "that age" where we're supposed to be responsible full stop.

connection? well i've been jolted out of my oblivion and reality (or really just a paranoid viker voice) is telling me that maybe i now need to be health-ally responsible. i watch tv. not just watch, but like really WATCH tv. so much so i even pay attention to ads. so i've seen all these health ads telling me i need to get this test and get that test to prevent this, prevent that.

NOW BOYS. THERE WILL BE SOME "FEMALE TALK" HAPPENING BELOW. UP TO YOU TO EITHER EXPAND YOUR INTELLIGENCE AND UNDERSTANDING OR TURN AWAY.

so here are some tests that i've been told should be on the radar -

PAP SMEAR -
why?: cos i am over 21
what?: to detect cervical cancer
uncomfortableness factor?: HIGH (think people, think)
will i/won't i?: undecided

MAMMOGRAM -
why?: cos anatomically i have them
what?: to detect breast cancer
uncomfortableness factor?: no idea but i would guess MODERATE
will i/won't i?: probably not, don't really have an immediate concern

that's really about it now, with me excluding the more generic blood pressure, diabetes kinda tests. my so it finally seems, age is catching up with us. so i'm gonna embrace this change of life. i'm gonna get health-ally responsible....after my parents come back so mum can cook more healthy meals. i solemly vow right here, right now i will look at green things in a new light. a favourable light.

so who else is up for the challenge with me? together we are one. together we can all be "healthy". but please make sure you have private health insurance first too people. that really helps.

big brained

yes lately everything with me has been brain related. i mean its what my major is centres upon so i really should be use to it but lately... it's over the top... i mean i had to call jeans to ask "is the brain an organ??"... i mean i've never heard to it being referred to as one and u can't donate it... but the answer is YES. it is one... according to jeans and amy. two very smart chickies... well at least jeans should know seeing as anatomy is her major.
and YES i'm whinging here. i mean don't get me wrong i LOVE my majors! would love to get a title of doctor and practice one day but i just don't have that kind of motivation to study that long...
but i really thought that studying child development would help me deal with my evil children fear... u know... raise them so they don't turn out evil, become serial killers and end up as some notorious hated child molester... well my belief that some are just born evil stands firm and strong. u can't do anything about it... just pray u don't carry some weird ass genetic material that will activate the evil gene. too many Y's! and then there are the ones that are just wired wrong... somewhere in those early days when neurons were finding each other and establishing their connections... the WRONG ones are made!
oh.. and watching a video on seizures... they're not as dramatic as they are on t.v... the person next to u could be having one and u wouldn't even know it. that's how subtle or normal looking they can be.
ok... enough craziness from me for one day.

you know what?

we're all a bunch of whingers. that's all we ever do. whinge about this, whinge about that, whinge about this guy, this girl, uni, work, study, lack of sleep, friends, family, the sun, the moon, water, food everything. everyone is a big bunch of whingers. whinge whinge whinge. oh look here i am whinging too.

do people realise they are whinging when they do it? do whingers realise that others don't want to hear it? has anyone ever turned around and said to the whinger..."you know what? shut up. get away from me". what possesses someone to whinge..not whinge but WHINGE...where it's like their 6th sense. i would rather see dead people. at least they won't annoy me.

don't get me wrong. i'm not annoyed...at this moment. i'm not mad...at this moment....and i'm not trying to give a poor attempt at not not being subtle so that certain people can pick this up and go "oh is she talking about me?". i'm just whinging. cos i can.

piggly wiggly

so when a great love is rejected, what happens? something inside that person breaks. it just snaps.
everyone has 5 smiles. how many of someone else's do you know?

i say let's dance. there's nothing more romantic than the execution of a perfect dip.

prunes & figs

i've been meaning to blog something philosophical for awhile, and it wasn't until the weekend that i got hit in the head with a bolt of inspiration. i think i'll call this section...

dating and relating
now, we all know about how men are from mars and women are from venus. or something like that. the point is, they are different in the way they think, talk, act etc. and when it comes to both dating each other, now that's a whole different ballgame.

for some reason i like to think that communication is a big part of a relationship. probably because it's been a niggling problem in many dysfunctional and failed ones. ANYWAY. i've now learned that a girl and boy can talk all they want to each other. but if they can't really HEAR what the other person is saying, then there's trouble.

let's put an example in, shall we? now, boy has a problem that he talks to his girl about. his girl is sympathetic and tries to understand. but really, she hasn't got a clue what it's like for him. to put it bluntly, she can't empathise (i am not putting a definition here for what empathy is, please look it up if you don't understand). there's only so much of "there there, it will get better" that ANYONE can take.

it took me awhile to put this into words clearly. if you can't relate to someone, then you might as well give up then and there. sometimes all a person needs is to be told the real deal, none of this sympathetic crap. alternatively, some people need just a bit of understanding about where they are coming from. it works both ways. so in a relationship...hell, even in friendships...it all comes down to how well you know a person in order to relate to them...to sympathise and to empathise.

moral of tonight's story? you can sympathise all you want, but it ain't gonna mean nothing if you don't have empathy.

band aids

everyone has been told at some time in their lives that the best way to remove a band aid is in one go. take that deep breath, hold it and RIP AWAY. i guess the logic behind this crazy theory is that whilst the pain that you'll experience will be significantly larger from ripping it off quick, it beats the idea of sustained pain over a longer period of time if you did it the much slower way. either way, which ever method of getting the damn thing off, you'll still experience pain. and it's not like you can leave it on you forever and ever cos it would turn out to be pretty gross after a while.

so then think about, this little story of mine has a correlation to how we, human beings, in our infinite complexity of being humans, handle stressful situations. i don't know about you guys, but i am seemingly always falling behind the eight ball these days. work, uni, study, assessment, friends, significant others, parents, it all equals to the same thing - so many ppl wanting something from you, and you having to find the time, energy, and damn motivation to meet these ppl's expectations of you.

so in a round about D&M conversation with olga last night as she tried rather amusingly to suck her pearls out of her bubble tea, we somehow came to the idea of coping mechanisms - how we all cope with the stressful times of our lives. okay now if we're talking about that stressful time in our lives where we have tests and essays due left right and centre, my line of thinking is, prioritise which one comes first and work my way down the list.

BUT then how about on an emotional scale? i openly declare that i am a fairly open person. i'm starting to think differently now though. more often than not, if i am put under the microscope i'm gonna go pack my bags, and run. there's no reason behind it. well not one i can explain to anyone anyway. so there you have it i'm an avoidance coper. i'll rather pull the band aid off slowly and suffer the pain than face the situation and give it a good rip.

p.s. i hate april fool's day.