prunes & figs

i've been meaning to blog something philosophical for awhile, and it wasn't until the weekend that i got hit in the head with a bolt of inspiration. i think i'll call this section...

dating and relating
now, we all know about how men are from mars and women are from venus. or something like that. the point is, they are different in the way they think, talk, act etc. and when it comes to both dating each other, now that's a whole different ballgame.

for some reason i like to think that communication is a big part of a relationship. probably because it's been a niggling problem in many dysfunctional and failed ones. ANYWAY. i've now learned that a girl and boy can talk all they want to each other. but if they can't really HEAR what the other person is saying, then there's trouble.

let's put an example in, shall we? now, boy has a problem that he talks to his girl about. his girl is sympathetic and tries to understand. but really, she hasn't got a clue what it's like for him. to put it bluntly, she can't empathise (i am not putting a definition here for what empathy is, please look it up if you don't understand). there's only so much of "there there, it will get better" that ANYONE can take.

it took me awhile to put this into words clearly. if you can't relate to someone, then you might as well give up then and there. sometimes all a person needs is to be told the real deal, none of this sympathetic crap. alternatively, some people need just a bit of understanding about where they are coming from. it works both ways. so in a relationship...hell, even in friendships...it all comes down to how well you know a person in order to relate to them...to sympathise and to empathise.

moral of tonight's story? you can sympathise all you want, but it ain't gonna mean nothing if you don't have empathy.