down the yellow brick road we go...

a male friend of mine, who we shall call ted, was telling me about his girlfriend. now ted was having a few minor second thoughts about his girl. which led him to his one remarkably good point...

"you shouldn't have to put so much effort into a relationship"
so begins doctor olga's session. me being the bright spark that i am pointed out that sometimes you have to compromise. and at that point i was completely shut down. apparantly there's compromising...and then there's putting effort in.

i have to agree with ted, you have to put a little bit of effort into a relationship...but not so much to the point where you feel like it's an effort. what what advice did i dispense to ted? not much...because i had to leave to go home. i did have to defend the poor girl he's dating though. females have to stick together after all.

what i would like to know is, how much is too much effort? and conversely, how little is too little effort? how do both parties reach a certain point in their relationship where the RIGHT level of effort is achieved?

to me...the way it goes is that you have to put a little bit in when you starting dating someone. just not a gargantuan amount of effort and change in your own personal self. cos then, it's a whole new ball game. it's too hard to define something like effort...it's something only the two people dating can ascertain. so really, you could both be happy with one phone call a week, or seven phone calls a week.

i'm off to save the world from more bad relationships!