butt slapping

as usual i'm writing to add my splash of orange. i'm surprised there are new blogs - last time i checked regularly the lemons hit a writers block and comments were zero.
Things that are occurring to me as i write this:

• with new years right around the corner i thought it was a perfect time for new things and people or person or stuff in general... but that idea was crushed while watching 'the perfect man' [yes he is out there!] - new things/people are only new for a day and then they're just things/people. well am determined to prove it wrong... makes things new for a couple of days!
• europe here i come!!! me and my girls have finally gotten our act together and after a week or so of planning booked our tickets for europe via japan! ya-ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'll be bombarded with goodlooking guys with sexy accents. can't wait!
• getting propositioned for a threesome does wonders for ur ego. but the thought of it is weird and i think 2 male friends willing to hop into bed together is maybe hinting something else in which case i'm not needed. i know chicks are more known to be willing to have a 3some with one of their friends but i'm not sure if it works the other way around?! or maybe this is all included in those locker room secrets - all that butt slapping after goals and shots!!!! that's what its all about! male on male contact! so any guys out there that still reads this blog - is there a male friend that ur willing to get it on with if there was a chick involved?! or without the chick as well!?

choo choo train

after a thoroughly exhausting day spent shopping with helga, i am now the proud owner of new bed sheets. oh how i cannot wait to slip into bed with morgan & finch. the devil woman also forced me to get myself a new phone...ok so she didn't FORCE me to get one...she just harrassed me into it. i have just signed my life away for the next 24 months...

anyway, on to more pressing matters. there is no way helga is gonna wrap up the remaining 11 months of 2005 so i'll just hurry the post along a little and do more GENERAL sorts of things that happened during our year.

• helga and olga making the horrific discovery of the year...that their dear friend amu is living the good life complete with new car, paid-for phone bill, new kitten and FULL TIME JOB
• the june issue of viking mistress "artful display of erotica"
• the many somewhat pathetic attempts to increase the level of intellectual reading material on this blog...with many philosophical topics such as "how to rip a man's heart out"
• the liberating and f*cking expensive experience known as MAN DETOX
• celebrating our 1st birthday of this blog (and i completely forgot about it)

after last night, helga's self-invited guest realised that helga and self invited guest's friendship has sunk to a new low...yelling out incoherent nothings such as "don't sass me" while smacking ass in front of other person's face. then having phone conversation 2 hours later after self-invited guest has gone home.

don't sass me!

okay so it seems almost anything inspires us to post something on this little blog of ours. and tonight's almost anything that inspired us tonight was as per usual four little girls in one big city with one common goal.

however as not so per usual, i have a self-invited guest over at my house (note to you who will be reading this later - you still have not taken that so called "nap" whilst you were at my house). so back to the inspirational thing, whilst watching 1 man and 1 woman argue, and as is the norm, things were said that falls under the "below the belt" category.

now this prompted self-invited guest to give me an example (i didn't ask for it) of what her friend said that in turn made self-invited's friend's boyfriend (you following this guys?) feel completely wounded and at the edge of crying at any given minute. following on self-invited guest had possibly the most smartest epiphany of her life, when it comes to blows-below-the-belt comments and guys, it's not too smart to aim that arrow towards anything that falls under the definition of one man's "manhood".

so have any of us/you taken one below the belt? if so what was said to injure us/you that badly?
have any of us/you dished out such comments? is so what was said that put you in the doghouse?

memories...nothing but memories woo woo woo

so after all this time waiting for olga to post something so that there ain't too much green on the screen, it is time for a wrap on the year known as 2005. and frankly just so that we can (or at least i can) stretch this topic a bit i am gonna do a best of for each month of the year. so let's begin with...*drumroll* january!

BEST OF JANUARY 2005

• coming to the conclusion that yes we are superficial. funny but superficial
• olga discovering she could share her sexiness to the world wide web on here
• olga coming up with her cardinal rules. and breaking them in record time
• olga calling me a floozy. a FLOOZY NONG HEAD. i take no offense to that
• the excitment with the aspect that we were heading over the sea...way over the sea to NZ
• olga getting some lovin from some hobbits
• zelda's splashes of orange
• olga loves russian horsemen
• the depths that i and olga will go to, to just score free movie tix
• GAINING ME FULL LICENSE!!!! watch out pedesterians!!
• the incredibly bad sunburn and subsequent bad tan that we got from beach trip
• olga on the beginning of her mysterious tummy bugs she got all the time
• AMU'S EDUCATION OF A LIFETIME re: sound effects associated with movie sex scenes
• amu's excitement and eager anticipation of people making sweet babies
• olga declaring she doesn't want to be feminine

QUOTE OF JANUARY 2005

now we had some real beauties in the month of january so here's my top 3"

3. Amu - i like men with pants
2. Anne : "what were you doing before??"
Jeannie : "something, i was watching something to do with art"
Anne : " did you know that erotica is art and porn is....."
Jeannie : "porn??"
1. For those innocent ears out there i actually will refrain from directly quoting anything this time around from my memory bank cos what was said borders on pornographic...
however we all found out Anne has very bad gag reflex

and an honorable mention...

Jeannie : "Hello??"
Amy : "Why do you sound so scared??"
Jeannie : "Cos you're ringing me...."

go jan 2005!

sayin' goodbye...

...to 2005. my goodness me i turned around and realised it was the 28th of december and still we have not started our memorable moments! this means i have to jog my memory a bit...shall we dance?

• olga's alcohol fuelled 21st birthday bash (of which some parts are still foggy)
• that fantabulous trip to new zealand where we discovered new depths of our friendship...and managed not to kill each other
• making the big move from noble park to lower templestowe
• extending our knowledge of the country and driving to warrnambool...complete with 7 hours of non-stop conversation
• that ongoing bugger of an operation known as operation c-cup...also known as operation washboard stomach

more to come, many happy returns...olga

sheeps in lamb's wool

beware boys. there's two vikers out there who despite there young, tender ages, below lies mature, worldly women who know their stuff about bedsheets. and we're talking BEDSHEETS. not your simple, brown, orange and pink polka-dotted tar-get kind.

we love you morgan,
we love you finch.

how olga got her groove back

i ran on the treadmill for 35 minutes!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE...ONLY 3 MORE DAYS OF SHOPPING MAYHEM

and olga will not be abandoned this christmas. thank goodness for hearing of delayed family christmas plans. although, i'm the only one in the family left high and dry on the singleton branch. my fourth sister has finally followed suit and gotten engaged. boohoo...and now it's just lonely old me.

oh well...thank goodness for helga and amu who i will haunt till the end of time. MUAHAHAHA

teary me

as my last day for the year rounds up to a close here at the office and in between wishing all a happy and safe christmas and new year, i am strangely getting all teary eyed at the occcasion. i mean i'm not saying i don't have a heart and feel "emotions" or anything but this isn't the first time that i have done this. and on an off note i am expecting to cry like a baby if i ever, ever go see king kong. so who wants to hold my hand?

p.s if i don't get to a comp before sunday...

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

spunkarama

partially inspired by dr. phil, partially inspired by 12 yr old chattering (loudly) girls on train, and partially confounded by the aspect that in 7mths time i will be 23, i started to wonder about the aspect of LIFE.

and as in life, we all (hopefully) grow up. and i guess there's the various milestones that define the periods that we theoretically grow up and (hopefully) mature as life deals us with her lessons. i mean in my opinion the following stages marks periods where my life took on a new turn and basically forced me to "grow up" (feel free to debate this with me):

• being born
• the art of walking down pact
• the art of talking down pact
• the art of being toilet trained down pact
• starting school
• moving to australia
• the art of speaking in coherent english down pact (still debatable i know)
• "growing up" wink-wink-nudge-nudge
• moving to a new school without knowing a single soul (twice)
• passing VCE
• getting into uni
• passing uni
• entering workforce

now reading through that myself, those events seems rather trivial. why everyone goes through them (give or take a few events) i know. but my question to this elaborate plot of being philisophical and just darn wanting to use dot points for the fun of it is, do we lose our spunk as we grow up?

prime example? why right here under your very nose! looking back on just december 2004 in this blog shows how we vikers still had our spunk, our groove, our thang. we captivated you, we enthralled you, we entertained you. how much seems to have changed all in the space of 1 year. let's hope that 2006 is the year we all get our spunk back.

rudolph pie

so this is christmas
and what have you done?

well the time has come as another year comes to a close and a new one dawns on us, so ladies and gentlemen hold on to your horsies cos this is the time when we vikers do some soul searching reflections on the time that has so swiftly passed us all. Stupidity guaranteed, confusion? yep there as well, endless and mindless chatter from us, you gotcha! but most of all....love.

so stay tuned as (hopefully) we get off our butts and look back on the year that we will fondly remember as 2005.

bah humbug

i've sadly come to terms with the fact that our faithful readers are dwindling in number. i've also realised that my philosophical thoughts just ain't happening anymore. therefore, it's back to mulling over the non-existent state of my social life.

in attempting to alleviate my boredom (apart from starting to paint my toenails) i was reading over last year's posts around this time. funny how some things change dramatically. and how some just endure over time...unfortunately i am still friends with helga...i don't think i'm ever going to get rid of her. muaahahah.

ok enough with the rose-coloured glasses.

time changes everything. if i could have another go at this year...i don't think i'd change much. wishful thinking comes dangerously close to regret. as eventful, alcohol influenced, crap, exciting, downright terrible, stressful, and surprising as this year has been...at least it hasn't been an ordinary and boring year. and when i spend the 31st of december with some of my closest mates, it will probably all seem worth it in the end. well after a couple of drinks anyway.

blog bust

in a conversation with viker olga, she noted with dripping sadness in her voice her concern that perhaps we have lost all our readers and the painful truth to us is that noone reads our blog anymore.

so it prompts me to ask like the great lyrical line, where have all the good people gone?

pimp-master

okay so firstly 3 things run through my head whilst i typed out the title to my post...

1. my mum is right behind me in full view of this screen, but thank god for chinese foxtel to completely distract her with girls continously going "awwwwwwwww" every 2 secs.

2. what kinda readers we will now be attracting when they type in "pimp" into their search. why they would do that is another question.

3. i forgot.

warning: there maybe extreme sarcasm and cynacism found in the content below. it is not recommended for children. parental guidance is recommended.

yes. it's true. i am on the hunt. for the past X years i have seen hunting season come and go as an avid spectator rather than a competitor. and whilst by my calculations hunting season has come and gone, i am in this late stage gonna throw my fishing line out there to see what hooks. preferably hooking before end of march/start of april. the reason why is yet another story.

and in spare time to do what i so ever shall please me, i ended up chatting to viker olga. which ended up in screaming matches across MSN. oh how thrilling. so olga definately believes there is no THE ONE. i on the other hand am not so charlotte-ty to believe in it so heartily in the existence of THE ONE THE ONLY ONE, and yet am not so miranda-ish to believe that they don't exist at all. i like to think i am in the middle somewhere, carrie-ish enough to believe that there is A ONE, but heck with it if that male at the time isn't THE ONE. just on to the NEXT ONE. confused? thought so.

as was once said to doctor mcdreamy once "it's all about the chase".

p.s. olga is the pimp-master if anyone is interested.
p.p.s. even i have managed to confuse myself in this post. and that certainly is a first.

blubbering humdinger

after much consultation (ok argument) with my fellow viker helga, i have had a burst of inspiration. also because i'm sick of loading up the same title every time i check this blog!! so down to business, shall we?

WARNING: extreme sarcasm and cynicism involved.

today's rant is about...THE ONE. you know, the perfect person who complements your life and who, according to a friend of mine "has the least bad things about them". now we here at viking central (well, two of us anyway) don't really think there is THE ONE. there are many of them. currently, helga is on the lookout for her ONE so boys jump at the opportunity while it's there.

if there was only one of these perfect males, we would be spending our entire life just looking for the damn male. and what happens if you didn't find THE ONE? would you be doomed to spend your life lonely after having rejected all the others who came close but never really quite made the grade?

the way i see it, it's like finding your favourite type of chocolate. you have to go through all the other types to compare which one is really your favourite. the one that tantalises your tastebuds and is really just superior to all the other chocolates. ok not superior, but better suited to your tastes.

so forget the search for THE ONE. embrace the imperfections of THE MAYBE ONEs. ok so we're probably more prone to getting our hearts ripped out that way, but oh well. THE ONE may exist, but you'll be damn lucky to find him in this lifetime.

p.s. and why the hell do i have to look for THE ONE anyway? HE can come find ME!

retro little black dress

take me back to a time where my fingers flew furiously over the keyboard and churned out blog posts that were philosophical, somewhat interesting, and hopefully with a little bit of humour. and what has happened? i have hit a wall. i don't know what to write about anymore.

i have decided on...the things one is passionate about in one's life. for in this world there are many people, and therefore many things that are the centre of a person's passions. just for the sake of being general here, one can be passionate about...

• one's job
• one's significant other
• one's situation in life
• achievement of one's ideal body
• one's car
• world peace

and the list goes on. what i want to know is, is everyone passionate about something in their life? how do you gauge whether a person has passion in their life?

and finally, does it enrich your life to be passionate about something? my theory is that being passionate involves investing your heart and soul into something or someone. putting yourself on the line, no matter what the outcome.

amidst the rollercoaster that is our complicated life, noone is completely without passion. although, some choose to watch from the side lines, some sit up the front of the rollercoaster...and some ride it with their arms in the air.

once in a blue moon

you can change a woman.

no wonder blue moons are so rare.

aha!

thought you guys could get rid of me that easily huh?!?!?!?
well you can't!

in regards to my post below olga's post which is below this current post, i was actually referring to my possible future job status rather than my blogging status.

p.s helga does not rhymne with has-been.

sand in my bathers

olga's wednesday lessons

• one can attend a fitness assessment at the gym at 6am and be back home in bed by 7am
• one's already tanned arms only become more tanned after lying out in the sun
• sand will always get tracked home from the beach
• lazy summer beach days are only complete with oily fish and chips
• karma dictates that if one drives home in one's bathers, one will inevitably get busted by mother and mother's friend upon returning home

till the next trip to the beach!