renovation rescue!

i have just moved my entire room around. and after lugging everything into a different spot...i have come to the realisation that it's a two person job. oh well. there goes my exercise for the day.

everything looks so different! actually it just looks like my room...or a mirror image of it anyway. so proud. so tired. made the mistake of testing things out...which meant rearranging my entire room 3 or 4 times. not good when you have heavy items.

one of the few times i'm grateful for having a single bed.

goodbye my lover

please excuse me tonight. for some odd reason i am in a strange mood tonight. i happen to have a lot of questions that only seemed answerable when the day is abit clearer. but in a philisophical face off with a friend, who i shall call cletus, he actually said a comment that made me go "woah"

woah as in a "there's more truth in that statement than i am willing to admit"
woah as in "that's a good argument"
woah as in "damn why didn't i come up with something as profound"

so what did cletus say? what was it that in my strange mood, it rocked me to my core?

"we only know when it's a true love, or at least a deep love we have for someone, when it hurts"

it's so true, it's so right, it's so spot on. you can try to argue the opposing argument to that statement. in fact i wish you good luck. i would love to hear what people have to say pro or against such a statement. but for me that one statement struck a chord in me. deep down. way deep down. pretty close to a nerve i tell ya. my eyes have been opened.

down the yellow brick road we go...

a male friend of mine, who we shall call ted, was telling me about his girlfriend. now ted was having a few minor second thoughts about his girl. which led him to his one remarkably good point...

"you shouldn't have to put so much effort into a relationship"
so begins doctor olga's session. me being the bright spark that i am pointed out that sometimes you have to compromise. and at that point i was completely shut down. apparantly there's compromising...and then there's putting effort in.

i have to agree with ted, you have to put a little bit of effort into a relationship...but not so much to the point where you feel like it's an effort. what what advice did i dispense to ted? not much...because i had to leave to go home. i did have to defend the poor girl he's dating though. females have to stick together after all.

what i would like to know is, how much is too much effort? and conversely, how little is too little effort? how do both parties reach a certain point in their relationship where the RIGHT level of effort is achieved?

to me...the way it goes is that you have to put a little bit in when you starting dating someone. just not a gargantuan amount of effort and change in your own personal self. cos then, it's a whole new ball game. it's too hard to define something like effort...it's something only the two people dating can ascertain. so really, you could both be happy with one phone call a week, or seven phone calls a week.

i'm off to save the world from more bad relationships!

buzz

i need a sugar daddy. i don't care if it undermines my independence. just someone who can finance my trip so i don't have to work my butt into the cold hard ground.

ah...how lovely that would be...in my dreams.

goddess me

now, some of you faithful readers may not know that whilst we're conducting our blog-love-fest with mr sven over in "the world according to me", that we vikers are still here to answer all your confunding questions that we seem to be able to muster up our neurons for.

a recent question was - "why are girls so fascinated by arms?"

the simple answer? we girls are attracted to guys who have the right balance of testosterone running in their systems. too much and we're looking at fabio gone wrong with aggressive tendencies, too little and well....we're looking at ourselves.

now there are several ways in which we women can gauge how testosterone-y a guy is. one has the potential to get the guy landing himself in jail for indecent exposure, the other more safer way would be to judge how much muscle a guy has on himself, hence arms.

but i know what you are asking me. what does arms + testosterone have in common? well that my friends, goes back to sven's survival of the fittest theory. we and every other species out there in gondawanland procreate so as to pass on our genes. and we all know that only the strongest of our genes survival. so more testosterone = fitter genes = fitter offspring = more of us running around.

now even before getting to the procreation stage, there is another life stage in which a guy's arms comes into play. women, throughout hollywood history have had the image of the darlin newly married husband carrying their bride over the "threshold" on their wedding night, compounded into our heads. now nothing dirty, i just meant the hubby carrying the bride through the door. i don't think many women enjoy seeing their hubby struggling or not even being able to do that and possibly even worse, dropping them.

so boys, bulk up. cos we're getting mighty heavy!

bravo, bravo

round of appaluse for sven!! mighty fine first job you have done for us in your first ever post...quiet enlightening i must say. though once reading the comment left by a fellow viker, kinda obscured my view on a guy's fascination with boobs. thanks olga. hope you enjoy your toys.

so, now here's is another question i have to pose for your brilliant mind.

ARE THE VIKERS REALLY EVIL? HOW EVIL? AND WHY SO EVIL?

yeah. i'm sure you can see how that question (or series of questions) really stumped me when i read it.

p.s had to change your blue color to a lighter blue cos its easier to read....

Jugulars

Hi, its Sven. Because Frida hasn't made an appearance in quite a while, she's been replaced. As per the previous post, we're here to discuss boobies. So why are they so facinating?

Personally I wouldn't use the word 'facinating'. I think its a little less than that. But we have to say that they're at least interesting. So where do we start? Well we could go back to the beginning, where it all begins. That is, straight after birth. It works because straight after that we're on the boobs suckling away every time we're hungry. For those of us who weren't breast fed, there was the bottle, which is close enough to a nipple that it doesn't really matter. So after growing up this in mind, boobies are good and provide nutrients.

From a more historical and theoretical point of view, we can look at the evolutionary aspect. Generally bigger is better, and it definately is in this case. The bigger they are, the better chance you have that your child is going to be properly fed. So the men who are attracted to women with bigger boobies are also going to have healthier babies, which would give a a better chance of survival. Clearly theres something about that attraction which has filtered through the ages.

The final point I will make concerns the form of our topic today. It probably wouldn't be so facinating if there were only one. So cleavage is another factor which gets involved. Cleavage is quite a strange concept. You could make the same kind of shape with two of your fingers, but it just isn't quite the same. Just as a quick aside, its quite amusing that nature has built in redundancy.

flash bang

ladies and gentlemen! in a time of sharing and caring, i have decided to open this blog up for some cross-blogging love. now in no doubt, possiblly every second post that olga and i have posted is either...

• man-bashing
• man-confusing
• man-stumping

and whilst she and i have tried to our best to understand the world of men, the matter of fact is, we can't. why? well genetics predisposes us to lack that certain Y chromosome and you get the drift there.

so my solution to balance the karmic balances of genders? invite ali/ez/moocow to post on this blog to provide us with the true insight of the world of men. i mean, i have questions where i literally have no answer to when it comes to the male psyche. what better way to have these questions answered by someone who actually is from the opposite sex?!?!?!

so i shall leave ali/ez/moocow to introduce himself to you, our beloved readers. we might start calling him sven in the spirit of our viking theme here. and to begin our blog-love-fest, here's his first question that perhaps he can enlighten us with...

WHY ARE GUYS SO FASCINATED BY BOOBIES?

tissue paper

i have a headache. it may have been from the most horrendously evil movie of all time. yes dear readers, it's called the notebook. bawled my eyes out and now my head hurts. stupid romantic chic flick movie. only watch if you're feeling depressed. REALLY DEPRESSED.

don't get me wrong. i'm not depressed. i just naively started watching this movie and ended up a wreck. although my mother thinks i'm depressed. i can't even stay at home for two days in a row without my family thinking there is something wrong!

the moral of the story boys and girls is that this movie WILL make you cry.

meow

it's friday night and i'm going out tonight! it's so exciting. this is the first time in a while that i'm actually having one of these adventures. yes, dear readers, that is the sad sad truth.

but BUT who cares! i'm going out! good company and good music...i can't ask for more.

hookers vs. girlfriends

on the flipside, maybe such a topic is down my alley to be intelligently witty about.

with the same friend as in the post below, we also rationed and calculated whether it is cheaper to maintain a girlfriend or have a "monthly meeting" with a hooker.

now here are the following conditions that we placed on it -

• hooker is in the middle classy price range - $500-$600
  
• we're talking HIGH MAINTENANCE girlfriend
• dinner outings 4 times a week
• dinner outings at mid to high class places (sorry guys excludes macca's)
• guy picks/drops off girlfriend at every dinner outing
• average driving distance between girlfriend and guy's places : 30km
• average times having to refill gas tank a week: 2
• average dosh spent on petrol a week: $60
• timeframe for calculating how much girlfriend costs: 1 month
  

now we're just talking about the simple terms of paying for petrol and dinner for one month only. we're not even including the type of high maintenance girlfriend where the guy buys her presents for the sake of it. that would've just blown our minds. results?

hooker: $600
girlfriend: $720
ali asking me what how much i would sell my body for: priceless

moral of the story guys? find a sugar mamma, and work your way into her inheritanence.

calculated evil

last night a rather thoughtful friend of mine, in a conversation about religion and how believing in one or another form of god brings peace of mind to some people, we got onto to talking about just what exactly is evil, real evil. now this friend of mine would probably write a more witty and humourous version of just what "real evil" is, but cut me some slack. it is 8:16am have had less sleep than i like, and i have homework and centerlink and its dole line on my mind.

so, a question that was raised was just what exactly is "real evil". now being the smartarse i am, it took me only a few slight seconds for my brain to switch mode and proclaim that "real evil" is calculated evil - the sort of evil where one knowingly knows the incredibly disastrous consequences that comes with their sort of evil they are exacting on others, and more sordidly take pleasure out of it or in their illogical mind, have some form of rational explanation as to the basis of their decisions and actions. i mean, i'm sure you're all capable of coming up with no less than 3 (current or former) world leaders in human history where they have simply done other atrocious acts upon their fellow man, woman and child.

but as my equal in smartarse-ness, my friend simply shot me down and proclaimed, that evil is simply a concept that is defined by humans. other species in their everyday lives have no notion of what evil is for they have not defined the concept to themselves. for example - if a lion is mauling a lamb for dinner, some might think that the lion itself is evil. it is mauling a poor little sweet lamb. i on the other hand argue, that such a scenario is not an example of evil. it is merely evolution and the breeding of survival instincts in the lion that causes it to perform such an act. we humans on the other hand, is scientifically thought of to be the only species with any real depth of intelligence, and with intelligence comes knowledge. now we all know not to hurt, kill, maul, torture etc etc etc other people. why? cos that is evil. but we still do.

now there was a point to this post. or really maybe not. maybe this early in the morning brings out the anti-social pshycopath in me. or maybe for once i just felt like being intelligently witty as you, my equal in smartarse-ness, friend. how poorly i seem to have failed. i take my hat off to you.

moon shadow

as part of the ever curious nature i seem to possess when it comes to people - how they think, act etc. etc. etc. i quite like to read up on mine and people's horoscopes. well not really those daily ones where they say you're due for a great and bad day happening in that one single day itself, just so they can cover their arses and not be wrong, but more of those personality ones - the ones where they give an insight into what you are supposed to be like under your particular starsign.

so in a conversation recently with a dear friend who is having some problems relationship wise, and in one of my many, many downtimes at work, i decided to look up these so called love personality horoscopes - ones which tell you how compatible you guys are, the pros, the cons of the particular r'ship depending on the two starsigns involved.

now the result i got from viewing the opinions of these "psychics" on the various combinations of r'ships (either friendship wise or partner wise), made me realise that perhaps there is some science behind this practice. i have always maintained that i do follow quite a few of the characteristics of my starsigns (cancer and pig), but i don't believe i am the way i am just merely because i am born under those signs, but more on the aspect that it is just a coincidence that my personality falls under the very broad category of what it is predestined to be under my signs.

so to sum it up, the gods and goddesses of fate have basically laid out that if you fall under any of the following starsigns, you annoy me to hell -

• aries
• gemini
• cancer
• libra
• capricorn
• aquarius

everyone else, i love you.

and what about loving me? i take a direct quote from a trusted psychic - "it is very easy to fall in love with this loyal, devoted, affectionate, and protective Moon-child"

the ex-files

now that we've established that i've been working like a bitch, let us move on to more important matters. those matters of the heart. and the EX. yes yes, it's long over due but it's (partly) my blog and i'll post when i want to.

today's lesson is about busting the myths of ex's. but for the sake of convenience and less confusion, let's go through the roles. there's three people in this little scenario. the poor unfortunate "boyfriend", his EX and his CURRENT. helga has already written from the stand of the CURRENT...here. today i'm playing the EX (and in case you're wondering, yes i actually AM an EX)

i'm here to defend the ex's who are too often labelled the desperate women wanting their ex-boyfriends back. bit melodramatic? yes indeed. but still true on some level. but and there IS a BUT...how often is that true really? we've all been through that bad BAD period after a break up where you really do want him back...but it fades away pretty quickly. because why? it didn't work out. why would you want to go back to something that didn't work out? thus that famous saying..."they are ex's for a reason".

i think it's time for an example. i for one am friends with my ex (sort of). and to tell you the truth, there is nothing there. there is no way in hell i would ever get back with him. and i'm not just saying this for the sake of this post. i've even met his current girlfriend and she's pretty cool. although i'm not sure whether she knows that i'm his ex. that's besides the point.

and thus forms the basis for my argument. i'm sure it's uncomfortable for the CURRENT if her boyfriend is still friends with his EX. but think about it, it's more uncomfortable for the CURRENT and the EX to be friends. i'll leave that for another day.

to end this post i will repeat one of helga's quotes.
"what happens if the feelings they once had for each other resurface?"
you might as well question your whole relationship with the guy if you're thinking shit like that. and if it does happen and they do get back together?

he was an asshole anyway.

working girl

and here i thought i'd put those crazy working days behind me. but no, i just have to KEEP ON punishing myself. this is the second time in two weeks i will have pulled six shifts in a row...at three different stores. in my defense, the money is damn good (public holiday today!). AND...AND i plan on travelling, which means everything that olga earns from now on gets put into the "europe fund". although occasionally money can be transferred into the "needing clothes fund" which could also be known as "needing clothes for europe fund".

who am i kidding. i like to shop. a lot.

ANYWAY i was catching up on daily blog reading and it occurred to me that i never got round to my post on ex's. so stay tuned next week for it. heh heh.

sorries

just to clear up some confusion that seems to have arisen as a consequence of me continously posting up posts about bad pick up lines.

whilst i appreciate your concern for me, mr anonymous, about my dealings and going ons, these posts about bad pick up lines are not always a result of guys actually trying them out on me. so don't worry i am in no danger from weird creepy guys. but your concern is muchly appreciated. i never knew you cared...now all together..."awwwwwwwwww"

thanks for the rambling call last night too. made me feel very muchly loved.

i'm backkkk

here is my contribution to this blog... the splash of orange that gets to bug the green and red. if only blue would make her appearance once in a while this job wouldn't rest on my shoulders.
i've always LOVED travelling... and coming back from europe... i love it more. i have to go back. things that i didn't get to do and see and experience.
the trip uncovered a few revelations for me and the girls:
- japanese men have very nicely groomed eyebrows... that freaked us out... leading us to stare continuously at every guy walking by... now the heads of population of men in tokyo might have grown a bit after all the checking out we were doing... but it led onto more things
- they have pimps. enough said. its funny and scarey. mostly funny.
- they wear eye liner and mascara... and sometimes gloss. freaky but true. they apply it better than me... and in some cases kat. who is our makeup expert. these feminine men are funny funny creatures.
- spanish men aren't as hot as u think. it was very disappointing. i don't think i saw any. hence we didn't party cause the thought of being picked up by ugly people was... not nice. and clubbing to daddy yankee is just too comical... coming home - this spanish dude has hit our charts... what a small world!
- the french are weird with relationships. the rules are different. i dunno how they work but i'm very fascinated. it could be like a whole new psych. project for me. besides i love listening to them talk.... its sooo sexy... and nice.... even if they're telling u off... i think it could be nice.
- the hippos have come back with us also... i LOVE the hippos... yum! the dark ones are nicer.
enough about the trip. here is something: when people offer to set u up... is that a SIGN?! that ur life looks pathetic? but what if u were having a great time in singletown - until this yucky thought came into ur head... thanks jeans. yes it's her fault... she was number two or three that asked me that question! the first two times it was okish... cause well... it just was. but three... now u think u need new perceptive on how ur life is going. i thought i was great... on top of it... maybe rule it and spread all my joy everywhere... but now - unsure... i think i could still rule and spread joy... but at the moment how great is it? i'm not getting any younger and i have to compete with pucky chickens...
although i still think my life is good... it's ass moving time.
so my ass is going to get cracking...
yes i realise how bad that sounds.

drinkies

i am still continously amazed at how guys come up with pick up lines and what possess them to use them thinking that they have some sorta success rate for picking up girls (or guys - we don't discriminate here at viking land).

now on top of that i am also still continously amazed at how when i think i have heard the absolute worst pick up line of my short but sweet life, another one pops up to take top spot. the latest one?

"do you know you have 206 bones in your body? i can show you how to get one more."

so now someone tell me how is a line like that ever a turn on?

side note: dr olga i need your help!

tummy rumble

here we are again nearing the end of the week. and it's friday! hooray! not only that, olga has a day off...double hooray!!

i have been thinking again about this turning point in people's lives. no wait, i lie. i actually haven't been thinking about anything. my little bursts of inspiration for these posts are becoming less and less frequent. possibly because there has been little need for doctor olga lately (i am secretly grateful for that).

so where to from here?

yuck

i'm away from this blog for two days and it's been over run by hideously acid bright green writing. i couldn't stand it any longer and had to add red just so it doesn't look like JUST ONE PERSON owns this blog.

that is all.

i will write more when i get home from a 60 minutes of hellish exercise class.

good night.

question

why does no one answer the questions we post on this blog?

hands up

if you're as bored as i am

happy birfday to me!

i am turning 5 this year. and i am having a birfday party on april 9th. it is a sunday. it will start at 7:00pm.

if you want to come you have to pay me $30. or $25 if you are already a member of my prestigious club. but then you have to pay me $300 for a one year subscription or $600 for a lifetime subscription.

but it will be fun! why you ask? cos we get to see if anyone is engaged, married or have had a baby. how cute!

sweety pie

a question from an observation i was a witness to for over 45mins whilst stuck on train.

what would you do if you were in a relationship where your other half is other overtly affectionate in public whereas you're not and vice versa?

do you simply sit there and let your other half exhibit otherwise uncomfortable public displays of affection to you? or do you draw the line somewhere?

do you notice you are too affectionate for your own good and is making your other half uncomfortable? that the squirming you're doing isn't to get closer to him/her but to actually get away from him/her?

i think the couple i saw is still trying to figure this one out.
off to see my cells move.

nemo? where are you?

damn! olga posted! now here i was on an endeavour to claim this blog as mine...mine...MINE! and wipe out any traces of red writing...

but to continue on with olga's ex-factor post, it has inspired me to expand my thinking and cohabit it with hers.

now one of her more frequently said sayings (why to me i'm not so sure...) is that they (the two said people) are ex's for a reason. whether it might have been a mutual breakup, an acrimonious breakup, or just plain old fashion bitch fight breakup. they broke up. period. no longer romantically involved.

BUT...in speaking to another friend of mine, who i must warn you think on a completely different plane of thought to dear olga, asked me a very intriguing, and quite frankly stumping question. what happens if the feelings they once had for each other resurface? and you happen to be the one caught in the downfall as you are dating one of the two people?

faced with this scenario, most typical women and girls would climb on their stilettos and shout madly that they forbid their guy to have contact with his ex. they would then further explain, that it is not that they don't trust their boyfriend/partner/gentlemen caller but the doubt and paranoia associated with their guy and his ex rediscovering their once intimate feelings for each other would not in lesser terms make them happy at all.

seems unfair right? or maybe its just down to the aspect that it tends to be (not that i subscribe to the stereotypical idea) that women are the more "insecure" sex of the two. whatever the reason, i can see both point of views. YES there is a reason that they are ex's, but then YES there is also the possibility that somewhere along the line, the two may "fall in love" with each other all over again. but then there's also the possibility that pigs might fly, and so i'm willing to gamble with the odds i have.

i'm not gonna be banning anyone of you guys from seeing/dating/marrying anyone i know/am connected to in anyway, shape or form. i only want you to be happy. the question now is how do i stop the paranoid thoughts in my head???

ex factor

after reading the last two posts of complete incoherent babble, i had to inject some vague normality into the mix. now i was thinking in the shower, where all my bursts of inspiration occur to me, about THE EX. depending on the situation, you're either the ex girlfriend or you're in a relationship where there is an ex girlfriend on the scene. (sorry boys, just substitute "girlfriend" for "boyfriend" if you happen to be reading).

i've listened to it too many times about the whole paranoia with ex's blah blah blah to investigate that. what i want to explore today is...when does THE EX just go back to being a friend? you know what i mean. you stop referring to them as "my ex" and revert back to "my friend". is that even possible in today's society?

maybe when you're an EX, you're stuck with that label forever. i guess it's not such a bad thing. you as the EX represent a certain time period in YOUR EX's life. now depending on how things ended...it's not such a bad label. as opposed to "that evil bitch" or something of that nature. i've probably simplified things a bit too much. so i've come to the conclusion that THE EX will just remain the EX. after all, they all exist on a different parallel to your friends.

stay tuned next week for busting the myths about the potential dangers of THE EX.

ok so maybe my post has just added to the mix of instability and complete confusion on this blog.

allergy free cliques

okay so after all that rushing into uni what happened to me? i had to pick the seat in front of the idiots in my class. we all know what idiots i am talking about...those ones where they have formed the BIGGEST clique in the whole entire class and so they take up like the entire row of seats in the theatre.

now knowing what idiots i am talking about, there are specifically one point i would like to hit on in this downtime of boredom where i a) have no friends to hang around with at lunch and b) well yeah just no friends..

1. dr olga has a favourite saying..."idiots attract idiots"
   now when i first heard this, i scoffed at her then laughed out loudly. but let me tell ya. i think she's onto something cos by the evidence i saw in my morning class, there is some element of truth that runs in there.

okay side note....there is a doctor wannabe standing in front of me whilst i am in the comp room wearing a hideous pink shirt. now if a guy obviously have the brains to get himself into medicine and be handed the god given gift of saving people's lives, why oh why does he make the mistake of wearing a pink shirt? a hideous one at it too. but i have to give credit where credits due. he had on a nice watch. and i love watches.

okay back on track...after reading over the first half of this post, it occurred to me. was i one of those idiots too when i ran in the crowd of majority??? are these feelings of angst just here cos i find myself in the unfamiliar situation of being in the minority? that where i once found myself surrounded by the comforting faces of friends, i now find myself looking into the faces of groups of friends and see a puzzled look on their faces.

oh where have my idiots gone too? come back. i need your attraction. pronto.

burn burn burn

the following post will be written as if i am talking to you. so imagine me, sitting there in front of you, talking to you. now remember i don't appear to take a breath in between words, sentences and paragraphs so that should explain the absolute incoherence you will encounter as you read the following post. plus this is written in the last remaining minutes i am at work before i run to my tram for uni.

a strange thought occurred to me. what happens when battle lines are drawn? loyalties are called upon? allies to be made? in simpler terms, what happens when two (or more) once good buddies and friends suddenly have a massive fallout over a contentious issue?

in my observation, even though we all seem to now a days have our large social groups that we hang around with, if we look closely at the dynamics of this group situations, you will in no doubt see that there are those within the group itself that "click" and get along better and ultimately develop a closer bond to each other than they do with others in the same group. nothing bad about this, it just happens.

BUT...what happens if something oh so catastrophic occurs that calls on the group to split? it would be logical that those who are "closer" to the said person directly involved in the "fight" would "take their side". but what about those who are seemingly caught in the middle? there are those who love both and want to remain switzerland and not take a side. it would be highly possible that with group dynamics, peer pressure would be exerted on these individuals to ultimately choose and pick their side. now obviously this isn't fair, and in an ideal world, we as mature adults in our heydays of now would be grown up enough to realise the unfairness of the situation and wouldn't pull them one side or another. but hey, we're chicks, and seemingly there are guys are there who are actually chicks deep down and do this dirty deed. so unavoidable situation.

BUT...like any divorce and with jessica simpson and nick lachey paving the way for us, we now know the importance of dividing up the assests that was once shared. who gets what? does it go back to the person who originally gave it in the first place? does it belong now to the person who was given the gift? or does it simply come down to petty indifferences and us only wantint IT cos we don't want the other person to have it?

oh well....all questions are just as unanswerable as to whether it is chicken of the sea or chicken from the sea.

gotta run.

note to self...

must stop watching romantic comedies where a happy ending occurs after the fairytale.
*sigh*

ms london fog

my dear sherlocks! i think i've cracked it!

we here at viking central are in a loved up mood with all things men because we here it. it won't stop. it just keeps ticking away...

no really i mean, this is the so called time that new chapters present themselves in our lives. you know...one door closing, two opening. close a window and a door opens. here we are at the forefront, the cliff edge of our new lives.

for the past odd years we've slaved away at the books, striving for that elusive million dollar job that will set us up for a life of sweet luxuries. but we've heard the saying all too frequently in our lives. money can't buy you happiness.

for all the psychologists and evolutionaries out there, they will tell us that we humans are social beings. and as social beings, we can't exactly be social without that second person there to be social too. so makes sense to me. now friends will always be there, but as they have they have their own lives and agendas and are not attached to your hip, they will end up pursuing their own dreams and goals.

so how does the friends setting differ from our pursuit of a partner? a significant other? a gentlemen caller to satisfy our social needs? well friends whilst in pursuit of their own aspirations will in no doubt makes decisions that solely benefit them. they will go interstate, overseas, intergalactic to get that great job and thereby leave you behind. BUT with a life partner they will be there, supporting you, making compromises, sacrifices and what not so that you are happy, they are happy and everyone is happy.

so as we embark on this new adventure of our lives, we ultimately want to share it with someone. all work and money makes helga busy and rich, but helga would still like that elusive gentlemen caller there to greet her with open arms at the end of a hard days work with a nice meal on the table and the house spick and span.

oh there's also the law of procreation and biology but i'll leave that to dr. olga and her expertise to further delve into that.

so there you have it. we love men. this will be a fun filled month of men. sign up if you wanna join in on the celebrations. we're gonna be rockin.

hug hug

WE HERE AT VIKING CENTRAL OFFICIALLY DECLARE THIS MAN-LOVE MONTH.

if you ask me what that means...i will not be able to tell you. because i myself have no idea. it's just the month of man loving. and no, i do not know what happens to all the love next month.

WE LOVE MEN, YES WE DO!

yes dear readers, this is the year of the pro-man outlook. we here at viking central have decided to change our tune and declare our all out love for men. i mean, really, they do have a few shining qualities here and there amongst the asshole behaviour. oops. i meant they really ARE such charming gentlemen. so here is a list of the qualities we love about our dear male friends and...er...gentlemen callers.

"how do i love thee? let me count the ways..."

• the way you guys drive us around without argument
• the stupid jokes you guys crack...which are really so stupid that they have to be laughed at
• the things you say that strike us to the very core of our being and leave us changed forever
• the unnecessary text messages we get at horrific hours of the morning
• that when you put your arms around us, you fill us with a sense of security
• the all prevailing egotistical manhood that you constantly show us
• those rare moments where you can surprise us with a simple heartfelt gesture
• the many blank looks you get on your faces when we try explaining our girl theories to you
• the way you waltz us around the room with your two left feet
• that look in your eyes that makes us forget the rest of the world and makes our hearts skip a beat

[sigh]

more man lovin' to come...

second wind

i thought it might've been best to break it into two cos the other post was getting a bit long...
so if you haven't read POINT ONE. please go down to the below post. if you have read POINT ONE, and is interested in POINT TWO, please stick around.

POINT TWO: WE LOVE MEN.

oh yes we do. we love everything to do with them. they are cool. they are nice. they are sugar and spice.

now i'm not sure if olga was being sarcastic, and i reiterate again that i don't know if i am. i am having to restrict certain areas and functionality of my brain to just cope with having just my basic needs and functions function properly for me to survive this day, so keep up with me if you can.

but yeah we love men. i mean they really can't be that bad can they? they do have their good points right?

ahhh to heck with it! to be so malicious 24/7 is tiring work! that coupled with work, uni, friends, family, eating and sleeping, i'm finding it hard to find that extra burst of energy required to combine being malicious and witty so that it appears i am not being malicious.

where do you get it from?

thank you for listening to me. i very much appreciate it. really i do. i just want to go to bed and not hear my alarm ring.

oblah di oblah da

LIFE GOES ON YEAH! NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH.

and that is what goes on in my head at 8:15am in the computer labs of ICT at uni. don't worry i do realise that 8:15am was like 3hrs ago (current time 11:17am) but still i thought i would inform everyone. just like how i would like to take this opportunity to also inform everyone that i am eating a petit miam. i don't care that it is for little kids. i don't care. i like it. it's healthy for me. i am eating it.

so there are two points i want to bring up in today's post. sorry if i am rambling/will ramble/have rambled. i don't think there will be much sacrasm involved, but i cannot guarentee that.

POINT ONE: CLIQUES AND FRIENDSHIP GROUPS.

so as a lonely 5th year student who is having to go backwards in her science degree in terms of doing certain subjects, i find myself in a lonely situation. i am in classes where i do not know a single soul. nada. nippo. nil. ninfinto.

now it seems that the vast majority of people out there who believe that they know me, believe that i shall have no troubles making new friends, and frolick down the road of happiness that i am not by myself. i in my optimistic youth would've believed you too in believing that i have such magical and astounding abilities to make everyone love me.

BUT....is it just me or is being nice and friendly to just make that one or two new friends in class so that you don't have to sit alone, and if need be grab their notes when you have decided to be a lazy pig and sleep in, just too much effort nowadays (is that even one word?)? i frankly can't be stuffed. i, personally, find some enjoyment in sitting there by myself, being bitter towards those who have their CLIQUES and talking about their oh so exciting holidays that have just gone by. i like to sit nearest to the exit, making that fast get away.

after 5yrs of this, i am over it. who needs lotsa friends anyway? i mean having friends detracts away from precious "me" time. time where i am the centre of my own universe, and instead you have to go and make that extra effort to find those precious free moments and spend it with them. i mean, just how many coffees do you think i can drink in one day? one afternoon? you know what i think? i think there's some kinda conspiracy. the coffee mastros out there in the world have put in a secert chemical in their coffee beans that makes us want to make friends just so we could spend more money on their coffee beans. it's probably in the milk too. but not so much in sugar.

oh i made a new friend today. she wears pink. i hope she remembers me when i head into prac so i have a group. she seemed nice. i don't know her name.