chop chop!

when getting a hair cut, one must remember that...

• a vague description of "short" is not understandable to hairdresser
• when one asks for a "shortish fringe", one usually ends up with not only a short fringe, but a short jagged one
• one must invest in some serious hair gel stuff to spike one's hair out to crazy banshee woman state
• once one crosses to the dark "short hair" side, one usually never goes back
• short hair equals funky bed hair/crazy banshee woman hair in morning (usually on the crazy side)
• one must try to refrain from crying in front of hairdresser at final short SHORT hairstyle

olga's weekly lesson: getting something different done to your hair is not always a good thing

pastie pies

ROMEO! ROMEO!
WHERE FOR ART THOU ROMEO!

GIVE ME MY FRICKIN' DUCK.

hello ms geek

it's not a good thing when you catch yourself studying on a sunday night.

my excuse is that i have a 6 week fulltime placement starting next week and it's the last obstacle before i can graduate.

so there!

who am i kidding. i'm just trying to make myself feel better about unleashing my inner geek.

exams are over and we're having duck!

i just finished my exams yesterday... and all i could do afterwards was sleep... but that exam wasn't as breezy as i thought it'd be... besides from my lack of preperation for it, i did go for a donut run the night before... not such a great idea with an exam the next morning BUT i really LOVE krispy kreme... but we didn't get any because they had to close and there was a limit per car if u went through the 24 hrs drive through there was a limit of 1 box per car... and seeing as we all wanted several boxes each that wasn't gonna work... so we gave up and went to glenny for some food... and i went for some sugar... cause i hadn't gotten my fix and i needed to stay awake to study... anyways that also didn't really work out... i watched the soccer and had a 20 minute nap during the 3 hr exam... thank god it was 3 hrs... otherwise i would have been mega screwed... but i made it in time and all... but the exam itself wasn't my point of annoyance and hence this blog... it was the guy behind me... who wore thongs... but had the WORSE... and i mean BAD BAD stuff here... FOOT ODOUR!!! oh my LORD... i was suffocating there... i was soooo grateful when he went to the toilet cause it meant 3 minutes of fresh air! - i actually thought he finished early and was leaving but hey can't win every battle... 3 minutes is STILL 3 minutes! but how could u not smell how bad ur feet are!?!? like was he sick and had a clogged up nose!? i mean there better be a good reason for this!!! cause i'm not accepting anything less!
anyways... its over and we're going for duck next week. cause i've been DYING for peking duck!
oh and high on the agenda is to actually get the damn donuts!!! and i'm stocking up cause they're sooo yummy! oh and the soccer!!! i actually reckon that the socceroos can make it through to the next round!!! can't wait for the match! besides from the exciting game... the perving isn't so bad either. and now i'm off [at work] to read something that isn't educational, resembles a lecture slide or textbook... the joy of reading made up stuff!!

vroom vroom

in this world, people of opposite sex have fascinations with things that the other sex usually can't get. i know i'm being horrendously stereotypical but these examples work. girls have their shopping, boys have their cars.

i won't explain the mechanics behind shopping and why retail therapy is so...well therapeutic. that would take all day. what i want to know is...what is the fascination that boys have with their cars?

(i doubt you would have realised by now, but i got...er...persuaded to watch the fast and the furious 3 the other night)

ok so back to what i was saying...is it just a case of "my car is bigger than your car"? or in their typical fashion of simplifying things...is it a metaphor for life? "i don't agree with what you are saying so let's settle it with a race"

i wonder if they're on to something.

max medina

where do i find you?
i know a very very good friend who could do with some of your magic.

love is a bitch

star light, star bright
the first star i see tonight
i wish i may
i wish i might
that the wish i wish
comes true tonight

love is a bitch. there's no way that someone can't get hurt in the game of love. no matter how small, how big, how irrational the fight or situation is, there will be many times when we are all in love that someone walks away with their feelings a little bit hurt. even worser would of course be the ultimate hurt.

so what do we do? crawl into our shells? fight back? keep compromising till we're blue in the face? i have no freakin idea.

and then when is enough enough? when does it become so hard that the only forseeable solution is to break up? and what happens if it's the love of your life? THE ONE? do you fight for him/her? or do you give an ultimatum? it's me or the highway baby! i have no freakin idea. it does sometimes just seem that nothing's fair in love and war.

and what does the eternal optimist think when it comes to love? ahhhh if nothing's fair in love and war then i say "ARE YOU READY TO RUMBLE?!?!?!?!?!?!". fight hard. for the one you love, for the love itself and for yourself.

star light, star bright
i hope you all get
your wish tonight.

wine and champers

i went to a wedding this weekend. my own. HAH. maybe...

anyway the food was good and the wine even better.

viet weddings are great. really bad live viet band and really drunk people dancing to the music.

p.s. if you're still puzzled, like hell i would have a live viet band at my own wedding!!!

if i were a mantra ray

i'd swim round and round forever in the silver moonlight

oi!

hey zelda did you know there's like a version of the amazing race that's held like twice a month here in melb? you do it in teams though i think.

gobbledygook

being a retail sales assistant is not a complete experience until some asian lady...

a) upon being asked if her relative is the same size as you, replies with "no she doesn't have a tummy like that"

b) spouts out some nonsensical asian language that you have no way of understanding, and continues to speak it while you frantically shake your head

such is life.

i hate the hippies

sooo i kinda cheated and i went to the site to find out who'd win amazing race... and was greatly disappointed that it was the hippies. i hate the hippies! but watching it last night... i REALLY hated the hippies, they lie, cheat, manipulate! and just cause they do it with a freakin' smile on their face doesn't make it ok! it isn't ok! doing something crappy while smiling doesn't make it less crappy... it merely irritates people more! how annoying! ok so the frat boys aren't the greatest guys to win the show... but considering how well they did... in a normal series the usual footrace at the end would have seen them win... like they deserved! but NoOOooo there had to be another freakin' task... the show was SOOOO rigged for the stupid hippies to win... the two times they come last its a "non elimination" leg... that's BS! i wasn't this disappointed when amber and rob didn't win... cause it was just a case of the other team got there first in the end... but this time.. it sucked! they must be bribing phil or the producers! oh... and they wear NO underwear... gross! i wanted mojo to win... but sadly *sniffsniff* they came 4th... cause the stupid hippies ate the bugs!
ok.. i think the point of this blog is pretty clear... i HATE the HIPPIES. i LOVE amazing race and i want to do it and everything, i've been a devoted fan from the get go... have watched couples beat the odds to take home the mil... but this time... they've gone too far... i HATE the hippies!
i think that should be a t-shirt! but i go to MU... i might be attacked by the numerous hippies that attend this uni, especially around the arts building.

big ones, little ones, tiny ones, fat ones

don't ask me why at 11:30am i am watching a "health" show titled "All About Breasts". i have cable tv. it's on. i don't want to do anymore studying. i have a sore throat from eating too many sugar lollies. which ever excuse makes most sense, then i'll go with that to get me off the hook.

so...what have i learnt about breasts.

• there is a book titled "BREASTS: A woman's perspective on the american obsession"

that we all need to love our bodies. and that mr psychologist freud had a point when it came to the whole psychology behind guys being obsessed with them if they were not breastfed. see the whole thing about is, is that when guys are breastfed as a baby it impacts their views on those two little organs when they are big boys.

see the whole hypothesis behind that point is that if guys get breastfed when they are babies, they associate the boobies as just simply milk making machines. however no breastfeeding when a little tot, then they don't see it as a milk making machine but rather as "toys".

now women might throw their hands up all over the world and go "by golly gosh! all we have to do now is just breastfeed our babies!" there's a paradox. the hypothesis goes on to hypothesis that men actually exacerbate the "problem" (if you can call it that) themselves. apparently men (not all, i'm just following what the sexpert on tv is saying) create an environment where women feel it's inappropriate to breastfeed i.e. a boobie shouldn't be shown in public etc. so with the feeling of being against the norm, many women either stop breastfeeding earlier or just don't do it at all when they weigh up how much more convienent bottle feeding can be.

so there you go. there's an actual logical explanation to the obsession behind the boobs.
go freud.

skank adventure down the road

helga dearest... you'll be thrilled to know that i did suffer a "skank" day yesterday... i looked like i walked right out of a trailor park... no offence those living in one. but yeah... i looked like skanky white [not so white] trash. i went to buy fish n' chips in a pair of short shorts [despite the freezing ass day] and a pair of ugg boots. yeah... can't get more skankier/bogan than that.
i still don't believe that makes me a skank... but yeah... just thought helga ror would like to know of my short lived adventure looking like one... it lasted like 10 mins.

anonymous-ses

ok what's with the sudden influx of comments being left by "anonymous" people numbering themselves?!?!? i've already worked out one identity.

i demand that these people reveal their secret identities! please? we won't hurt you.

giving birth

is like doing the splits on a bed of dynamite.

i am going to remember this always.

HUNTING SEASON!

omg has everyone forgotten that hunting season is currently open and in full swing at the moment?!?!?!?!?!?!

man it's ironic. this is my first time in actually being in the environment of being hunted but i am unable to participate for a variety of reasons. with it being that the most important of all that i am an endangered species now and cannot be hunted.

ok is it just really my personal opinion but as you get older there is less and less fishes out there to fish for in a uni setting? i mean..

1. i am at the upper range of age of being at uni so the vast majority of those available are much younger than me and therefore there is the whole pedophilia/cradle snatcher issue
2. melb uni may have supposedly the smartest of the smarts, but i think we're lacking in the hottest of the hot guys.
3. all those first/second years are so clique-y. i mean what happens if they don't like me? plus read point no# 1 again.
   

so if you've gone through uni, and hunting season has come and gone for you, where do we girls go shopping next? where is the untapped talent?

sidenote - ZELDA darlin you know what this means? considering we've been spending a ridiculous amount of time at uni during hunting season and what with you no longer being an endangered species and can be hunted.....*wink wink* sooooo this explains all those guys eyeing our table off all these days....someone's got their eye on you!!!! yahoooooooooo!

p.s. anonymous 5 or 6 yes i am hot - who the hell are you?
p.p.s. PEKING DUCK. it's a date.

from beyond the grave

no i am not some new ghost whisperer or anything. frankly if they did decide to talk to me i would freak out. it was just a simple, morbid, quirky way to say "hey! look i'm back! i'm posting something again...hello?? hello?? look at moi...look at moi...!!!".

anyhoo....i feel quite under pressure here to write a post that upholds the vast amount of lovin' we seem to be getting i.e. the vast amount of comments that seem to have popped up on this blog in recent posts. how do i compete with a viker who can't do maths and type properly, and another who's getting bitten on the ass/arse by karma??? a lovely friend suggest uploading those porn pics we had up in the good ol' days but then in due light to no longer being on the market i thought it might be crossing some kinda "you're cheating on me" line.

FLASH! cheating....what a fine topic to talk about after that rather long winded intro.

so, i have read in my extensive, highly regarded sources of women's day, new idea and other trashy mags, that in our modern society, cheating on our respective SO's is a more common occurance than first thought of. how? emotional cheating. when we share our thoughts, dreams and aspirations with a friend of ours of the opposite sex we are emotionally cheating as we are emotionally connecting with someone else.

so theoretically speaking, according to the new sex columist in the wonderful publication of mx, men and women can't be friends. as hard as harry and sally tried to show us otherwise it just can't work.

that's my two cents. i have nothing else to add. i'm heading back into hibernation now.

karma biting me on the ass

what does one do when one is SOOOO busted doing something very inappropriate at work?!
cry!? dig a big hole and sink away!? oh god help me.
it's like i've been hit with a BIG dose of karma!

bargain!

ok so i'm not supposed to be shopping, but let me ask you this.

when you have been eyeing a top off for at least 3 weeks that costs $195 you know that there's no way in hell you are going to get it. instead you wait until it goes on sale at 50% off the original price, plus an extra 15% off from some club member card you thought was absolutely useless.

what do we have? a brand spanking new CUE top for $82.90. true, pricey for some, but an absolute bargain for me. yes, i did get it. yes, naughty me. but how can you resist at 42.5% of the original price? and it's cue. how i love cue.

bargain!

EDIT: yes it's 42.5% OF the original price for anyone who actually sat there, pulled out a calculator and worked that out. and believe me, it's been done.