Bitching Central - Now Open

okay so i've been told that i have ranted and posted on the same topic countless of times. so let's take a new direction. instead of ME doing all the pointing out of people, and myself i would like YOU faithful readers and poor unsuspecting souls who 'next blog' onto us looking for entertainment, gossip or crap but only find us to dish out the brutal truths. so don't bother reading the below post.

Hit me (or us if olga's up to it) with the brutal truths. Lay it out about us, the harsh truths, the bitter truths or if u have it, the sweet truths about us. Or just let it out about other people that we all may or may not know mutually. Let's all rant and rave. Bitching Central is now open for business. Welcome all. Roll up roll up.

p.s. sorry for the post overloads.

brutal truths

so there are those people who say one thing, or many things and yet when push comes to shove they never go through with their actions

then there are those people who say one thing, or many things and never mean it cos their actions contradict what they say in the first place

then there are those who never accepts what is being said to them
and then there are those who have actual consideration for other people, their feelings, their circumstances etc.

and then there are those who can dish out the honest brutal truth to people near and dear, and those not so near and dear AND who says one or many things and when time calls will go through with their actions AND who can say one or many things and mean it cos their actions don't contradict what they said in the first place AND can accept things being said to them (like the answer NO) AND think about other's besides themselves

i would like to think i am the latter. not just cos it sounds good. but by the fact that i have in many and varied circumstances have done exactly what i said i would, what i set out to do, held no bars back in telling people the truth, can accept it with no grudges when a person says NO to me, and that i actually think what my request would mean to the other person in terms of them having to go out of their way yada yada. at least i don't ask people to do things for me without at least attempting it first, or perhaps more significantly asking them right at the last minute and making them either feel guilty or corner them so that they have no other choice but to answer in the affirmative.

consideration people. and reciprocation. all relationships, friendships are a two way street. it's a give and take situation. don't expect it to be all one way.

BEWARE THE TROLL IS BACK... AND SHE AIN'T HAPPY. SHE'S MAD. SHE'S ANGRY AND SHE'S NOT PLAYING NICE.

i'm not afraid to say no to people. and now i'm not afraid to enforce it too. no more ms nice girl. you've all been warned.

the myths of life

i have been ordered to blog so that the green writing doesn't swamp the bloody thing. ok...so after much consideration...this is what i have come up with. so i was looking through a chain email from a friend, aptly titled friendship bracelet. i'm sure most of you have taken a look at this email at some time or another. i found a few priceless statements in there that i had to share with the rest of you who have not been fortunate enough to read it.

did you know that the three most difficult things to say are..."i love you, sorry and help me"
well you see...the way i look at it...it's pretty damn hard to say these three words...especially when it comes out like this..."help me! i love you...sorry..."

did you know that those who dress in red are more confident in themselves?
enough said. HAHA

did you know that it's easier to say what you feel in writing than saying it to someone in the face? but did you know that it has more value when you say it to their face?
i think this is the only statement that i took seriously.

there were more...but you know...these were the ones that really stood out. i was going to use those as a lead in to my post...but i've lost the inspiration.

olga's song of the day: whatchu waiting for [gwen stefani]

The Jerry Springer Show : Episode 627 : "Marriage Meltdown!"

[The crowd starts chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"]

Jerry: Tonight on "The Jerry Springer Show" we have a particularly interesting episode! helga is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend, olga. So everyone, please put your hands together for helga!

[The crowd whoops and hollers]

Jerry: Okay, now helga you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other person's name?
You: jally.

[The crowd squeals with delight]

Jerry: Okay, okay, well jally, is actually here tonight ...

[The crowd squeals]

Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you helga, because as it happens there is someone else here to see you! So let's bring out ... sally!
You: What the HELL!!!

[Out of nowhere you pull out a cookie. sally reaches for the scratching post. Out of the shadows chunks appears]

chunks: Wait everybody, wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First, tell us why you're here sally.
sally: Because I saw helga and chunks making out at reject shop!

[The crowd goes absolutely insane]

chunks: That's a lie! I was home watching pride and prejudice!
Jerry: [raising his hands] Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here ... what exactly is the problem sally?
sally: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with olga who has recently become engaged to chunks.

[The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement]

Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring olga out here because helga had something that they needed to tell them anyway about ... jally that's right!
olga: [enters onto stage and saunters over towards you] What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with jally! You know how I feel about jally!
chunks: [screams] What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with jally!
olga: Because I knew that I could never have jally. But helga promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
chunks: What about respect for my feelings!
[sally walks suddenly across the stage, embracing olga]
sally: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
[Again the crowd squeals]
chunks: Oh my God! Are you sick!?
[chunks runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly]
chunks: helga take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing ... I'm ... well, I'm married ...

[The crowd does its bit]

chunks: Married?
[You nod]
chunks: Who the hell are you married to? When ... when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to jally.
olga: [screaming] WHAT!!!
Jerry: [grinning widely, makes an enquiry] So ... did you have a nice wedding night?
jally: [stepping back out onto center stage] Well we had sex 666 times if that's what you mean.

[The crowd squeals]
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight ... helga is married to jally who olga has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now olga has recently become engaged to chunks who was recently spotted kissing helga in reject shop. Now on top of this, sally has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with olga.
jally: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: [looking sternly into the camera] It's times like these that one has to wonder whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks - it's been great - but for now, take care of yourselves ... and each other.
[Cue cheesy background music and fade to black]

male pms

and i thought chics were supposed to be afflicted with pms. it seems not. lately, friends of the male gender have shown themselves to be in moody little funks. what is with that? well i'm so SORRY that things didn't go your way boys. but get over it. that's life. i can rub it in every one of your faces, especially after i get male friends sarcastically asking..."that time of the month is it?". well rather it occur once a month (or once every few months, depending on the chic) than EVERY FREAKING WEEK. and not only that...these funks seem to occur simultaneously...so you have lots of moody little boys walking around within the space of a few days.

now this post makes me look like i'm in a funk. dammit.

i have nothing else to post. this was just a random tangent my mind went on while trying to understand the insanity of 2 hours sleep. plus i don't have it in me to post a psycho episode regarding that screwed up soap opera. i wash my hands of it. i just wanted to post to break up the green.

olga's song of the day: stay away [rooney]

Moochachos - Epi : "The Bun In The Oven"

..."like the time in a clock...this is the town where the powerful Duryea family rule the town of Moochachos with an iron fist"...

Last episode - Anne discovered that she had a bun in the oven but she had no clue who gave it to her; Miguel begins to hatch his evil revenge plan on Sally; and Sally and Jally meet in a lift.

-----SALLY AND JALLY ARE WAITING OUTSIDE THE LIFT TO GO TO THEIR PSYCH CLASS----

SALLLY'S STANDING CLOSEST TO DOOR OF LIFT UNAWARE THAT JALLYIS DROOLING OVER HER WHILST HE STANDS BEHIND HER

*DING* DOOR OF LIFT OPENS; SALLY AND JALLY; SALLY AND JALLY ENTER LIFT TO FIND THEY'RE THE ONLY ONES IN IT

Sally:"Well hello there sexy beast....have we met before??"
Jally:"errr.....well we do Psych together"
Sally:"Well you can psychoanalyse me anytime you know"
Jally:"err....that sounds good..."

*DING* LIFT DOOR OPENS ON THE SIXTH FLOOR AND WALL (WALLY WITHOUT THE Y)WALKS IN

Wall:"Well hello there Sally...long time no see..missed me babe??"
Sally:"You know i've never forgotten you...how can i??"
Wall:"Yeah...I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER"
Sally (looking scared):"What are you talking about??"
Jally:"Hey dude...back off okay"
Wall:"You have no idea what you are getting yourself into dude. I would be careful around HER"

*DING* LIFT DOOR OPENS AND WALL LEAVES

Jally:"What is he talking about Sally??"
Sally:"NOTHING! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"

---MIGUEL SILENTLY WATCHES JALLY AND SALLY WALK INTO THE LIFT TOGETHER----

MIGUEL PULLS OUT HIS MOBILE PHONE

Miguel:"Hey Wall...yeah, they've just entered the lift"
(wall speaks)
Miguel:"Yeah just like we talked about...you know her secret..."
(Miguel hangs up)
Miguel:"No-one dumps Macho of Moochachos and gets away with it"

---OLGA FINDS A BUN IN THE OVEN---

Olga:"How sweet! Someone left me a little bun in the oven but who can it be??"
Helga:"Maybe it was Tim Tam Tom?"
Olga:"But why would he do such a thing??"
Helga:"Cos he knows dude...he knows that you're now a girly girl with no independence and so he knows you will do everything for him when he wants, when he wants..."

what the???

boredom has really hit u hasn't it??? u need to b that bored to make up something that sounds like passions! is the guys gonna make a move ally??? the chick karen??? and miguel is paul???
am i right???

Moochachos - Epi 1: "The L Word"

..."like the time in a clock...this is the town where the powerful Duryea family rule the town of Moochachos with an iron fist"...

Jally couldn't keep his eyes of Sally since the first time he saw her across the student food hall at uni but he was too shy. too shy to make a move but he knew he wouldn't be able to live with the regret that would hang heavy in his heart if he just didn't make that first move...

Olga: "Oh Jally look she's just a normal human being. Just go up and say hi"

Helga: "Oh even better yet just tell her... "I've chosen you to be in the foxhole with and when i'm out of the foxhole i'll keep my d**k in my pants"...now that's definately an ice breaker"

Jally:"Are you nuts??!?!!! She's from the Duryea family she's classy man...not like.."
Olga:"Not like us huh?!?!"
Helga:"Geez thanks dude....and here i thought we were friends"
Jally:"You know what i mean..."
Olga:"Sorry dudes but you know how i have absolute zero attention span unless it has to do with a WOAH-MAMA hottie mcscottie guy and i see him over there...oh yeah baby Tim Tam Tom..here i come ready or not...hold on to your horses cos it's gonna be rough ride"
Helga:"dude...way too much info...we don't want..."

Lally:"Sally i think that guy Jally is checkin you out girlfriend"
Sally:"Yeah well i think its time for a new guy. i mean i just dumped Miguel last night...bigger and better things huh? If only he would hurry up and make a move"

Miguel: "Who does she think she is??? Dumping me...the Macho of Moochachos...i'll teach her what a big mistake she made."
Larry: "You know you're better off without her man...come on how hard was it with putting up with her last summer when she was possessed by the devil"
Miguel:"That's not the point here Larry...no-one dumps Miguel...no-one. She'll pay. Just mark my words..."

Next week on Moochachos - Miguel begins to hatch his evil plan, and Sally and Jally have a chance encounter in the lift. And Olga finds out she's expecting a little bun...but who gave it to her??

you don't understand...

after another one of our so-called deep conversations, helga and i came up with a marvellous topic. well it's not really innovative or new...it's just another aspect of that topic we all like to talk about...relationships.

now...helga often gets the following things said to her...

"you don't understand you're not in a relationship"
"it's different when you are in a relationship"
"you'll think differently when you are in a relationship"
and so on and so on....you get the drift.

WELL, yours truly happens to be in a relationship...and the last time i checked...my mental facilities were still intact. so now that the opening into a whole load of waffle has been set...let us begin. ok, so you wonder how the dysfunctional man-hater happens to be in a relationship...well that's besides the point. my point is that your whole being does not change just because you're dating someone. isn't that person dating you for who you are? not the person you supposedly "change" into when you begin dating?

it all comes down to the individual and how they act/react when in a relationship. but the way a single person acts/reacts in the same situation isn't necessarily wrong. it's just a different opinion...an alternative solution one may draw on if need be. we ask our friends for their view on a particular matter because we value their opinion, not because we want them to say what we want to hear.

the last time i checked, the only thing separating me from being single and being in a relationship was spending a lot more time with someone. my opinions don't change...and my friends don't change. for everyone's sanity, let's hope it stays that way.

olga's song for the day: wasting time [thirsty merc]

no you don't...

cos in your silliness you translated it wrongly by doing it word for word...but i haven't had a belly laugh like that in a long time so for that you get a prize...my house sat night *wink* be there.

so for olaf's sake here's what olga wrote and what it really was meant to be...

olga: "i know you love i too so lazy i tell more you so about i love you too"
helga:"i know you love me too so let me say to you that i love you too"

olga:"from absolute the at the bottom of my heart"
helga:"from the absolute bottom of my heart."

olga:" i wish to give you an demand let embrace"
helga:"i want to give you a suffocating bear hug"

olga:"thankyou olga and amu for being my something buddy"
helga:"thanks olga and amu for being my eating buddies"

olga:"without you i will not be that have flesh and warm round winter"
helga:"without you i wouldn't be this meaty and warm in winter"

olga:"love helga"
helga:"love helga"


so here's a real doosy of one for you to translate...
du er en nong.
good luck.

i get a prize!

i kid you not...this is a word for word translation...

"i know you love i too so lazy i tell more you so about i love you too. from absolute the at the bottom of my heart. i wish to give you an demand let embrace. thankyou olga and amu for being my something buddy. without you i will not be that have flesh and warm round winter. love helga."

if you dear readers cracked up laughing at the stupidity and bad translation of that...then you are in the same boat as me. i have never laughed at something like this in my entire life. i think you need to work on your swedish grammar skills helga. either that or i used a shonky swedish-english dictionary. thanks for giving me somethign silly to laugh about for the rest of the day.

olga's song for the day: ocean avenue [yellowcard]

oh hail olaf

jag veta du älska jag alltför så låta jag säga till du så pass jag älska du alltför. från absolut det nederst aven min hjärtan. jag vilja till ger du en kvävande uthärda omfamna. tack själv olga och amu för varelse min ätande kompis. utan du jag ville inte bli den här kött och värma om vintern. älska helga.

and there's my bilingual self coming out for the morn'. prize for anyone who can translate it.

oh how do i love thee...let me count the ways

guy: "i am haunted by the image of that kiss which you could not give me. and i hope that that kiss would not scar me for life"

and that's how you scientifically fictionally declare your love.
and why are you thinking of friends going around in nothing but a towel anne?? i'm scared.

olga's weekend lessons

i have learnt many valuable things this weekend. because i am so buggered, i will just list them off. ah, another weekend gone and the valuable study time wasted. such is life eh? so what did i learn this weekend? oh, and weekend to me means friday, saturday and sunday...in case anyone wanted to know.

• my dear friend amy cannot handle her alcohol
• i will never learn to walk in heels
• you know who your good friends are when they walk around your room wrapped in a towel and only a towel
• retail is a cold hard BiTCH
• cafe umago in brunswick street kicks PANCAKE PARLOUR'S ASS. not that "PP" (and i say that with much scorn) was any competition for ANYWHERE in the first place
• sometimes all you really need is a night spent with friends stuffing your faces with food
• friends can really surprise you when you least expect it
• i hate red wine. or any wine at all
• i am allergic to calamari...or something that was served from that bloody antipasto platter at the law ball

olga's song for the day: yellow [coldplay]

ahhh accents

we have lab now...we have a funki accented lab person who says the word "issues" funny...you should get helga to imitate him...everytime he says the word me and her repeat it...what accent you might ask...its the good ole pommi one...
im just blogging cos helga told me to cos she had to break up the green and the red....i will eventually blog about something or the other soon
well back to tuning into the funki accents
.
.
.
ISSUES!

chunky monkey

okay so there is a definite feeling of love is in the air. so me being the anti whatever has decided to talk about broken hearts. and yes chunky monkeys do play a significant part in it...

people. you can die. from a broken heart. cure?? a chunky monkey. repeat after me...

chunky monkey had a cow
but he hasn't got it now

and this my friends is how you get over a broken heart.
oh for those of us in our native tongue of swedish...

Tjocka apan hade en ko
Men han har den inte nu

so people don't cry too much about being dumped or doing the dumping. upside of being single?? you get more of the bed and you can actually sleep cos you don't have that person snoring into your ear till you go deaf.

sheese from the purple cow

i have been attacked by the procrastination bug again. in a flash of brilliance, i have yet again come up with something else to blog about. well not really. i can't really remember half the crap i post up here, so i'm probably just recycling and rehashing some old ideas and attempts at being profound and deep. so, shall we dance?

it's all about the compromise

compromise: a settlement of differences in which each side makes concessions
(i love online dictionary)

everyone does it. sometimes it's as small as going to a movie you abhor, to doing things that you really just don't want to do. how much is too much compromise? when do you start becoming a pushover, as opposed to a really good friend/girlfriend/boyfriend/person? or alternatively, do you not compromise enough?

i have only very recently changed my ways. it used to be an all-or-nothing thing...you either do one thing or the other...never both. i mean you can compromise in all aspects of life, but i have been beat down on it for doing it too much at work. yes ok i work like hell...and it makes me look like hell, but it's all about the money baby. but let us not get sidetracked here.

let me explore the people that are nearest and dearest to my heart...my friends...who i compromise for the most. some people think that it's the big things that matter...like (insert very obvious example here)...choosing between spending time with your boyfriend or your friends. but funnily enough...that isn't a big deal for any of us. hell, it's more of a big deal trying to decide where to bloody well eat dinner, and who gets to pick where to eat.

life is about juggling everything...uni, work, friends, family, social life, love life, me time and all that jazz...you compromise between everything. i mean everyone has different priorities and such. but at the end of the day, it's not a matter of who comes first in your life...it's about spending as much time as is humanly possibly with those who matter. and when it all goes to hell and compromise is impossible...let me leave you with my words of wisdom for the day...

"good friends understand"

so once again my post has become about friends. so my only hope dear readers, is that i allowed you to have some thoughtful procrastination for the day. it's a mish mash of ideas that spewed forth after my first caffeine hit.

olga's song for the day: iris [googoo dolls]

c'mon pick me up

guy : "do you know how much a polar bear weighs?"
me : "no...."
guy : "well it's enough to break the ice. hi i'm (__no way am i gonna tell who said this to me____)"

rather cute, rather corny, rather funny. classic pick up line that worked at least on me.
happy mother's day to y'all wonderful mothers who put up with us.

i think i may like alcohol

shall i tell you the weekend adventures of olga? well i think i shall. i went along to a friend's birthday on saturday night...and may have had a teensy bit too much to drink. i have been asked recently why i have been partying so hard. well...my only argument is 'carpe diem'...seize the day. omg i hope that was the right translation...dead poet's society was way too long ago.

anyway...i don't NEED alcohol to have a good time...although it DOES help a bit. ok i think i will stop arguing my case because i'm just digging myself a deeper and deeper hole. my only consolation is that my fellow viker...fannie zelda is just as bad as i am. MUAH HAH HAH. my dear friend, i hope you recovered ok.

it's mother's day today....not bloody last week like jeannie told me. so HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all our mums...even though if they ever read this site they would keel over in shock.

chapara = be very drunk

olga's song of the day: why do you love me [garbage]...YESSSSS i finally found it!

thanks snookums

thanks there snookums for wishing me happy b'day over 2mths early. it's much appreciated.

annie is running to the toilet and going to puke now. shaz is happily watching her.
and no you guys shaz and annie is not everyone else.
you too are my deliciously much appreciated SNOOKUMS!! in fact you guys are the pumpkin in my pumpkin pie. and you can't have pumpkin pie without the pumpkin. that's how much you guys mean to me too. and you too ali....you're also a pumpkin.

happy birthday spunk

sana taabani = very tired

olga's thought for the day: sometimes you just can't get your priorities right.

HOT take 2.

[quote]
brett said...
vikings are from sweden...swedish girls are hot. makes sense. :)
[/quote]

i don't know who brett is. he might be from michigan. but he sounds very nice. and very smart.

toad bag

we have found a new interest in life. learning swahili. it's quite interesting. like you can call someone a name and they won't even understand what you are going on about. hell, you could do that now in english. let me give the perfect example

"you are a toad bag"

swahili lessons to follow...and ways to effectively put it into a sentence.

olga's thought of the day: i would rather jump out of a plane at 12000 feet than to confront someone about their unsavoury freeloading habits. oh wait...i've already done that!

H-O-T. yep that spells HOT

oh how my witty self was shining like the brightest star in the darkest velvet blue night sky last night. oh how i kept myself amused.

so let's talk about friendship. the poll says it all. we all think the following things. we all talk about it about people too without their knowledge. i'm now putting it in a poll form. let it all out my fellow earthoids. vent. you know it'll make you'll feel better

what is the limits of friendship??

there is no limit, a friend is a friend for life up to and including 3mths worth of patience when having to listen to their never ending problems before you tell them to shut up to their face telling them what they want to hear, though you totally disagree and think they are being immature and stupid being a troll through and through being forced to give FREE lifts when asked at the very last minute and thus making the driver feel guilty thinking they can infiltrate another group having to put up with the person's ever shonking singing ablities having to watch someone sexy snake dance when they can't separate their thorax from their pelvis (that's tum from bum) knowing that you're only receiving that phone call cos the person's called everyone else and they won't pick up

happy chappie!

you know it's not a good start to the day when...

• you get a text message at 8am from one of your group members
• you get stuck in traffic on the supposed "fast back roads" way to uni
• you trip up the stairs trying to get to whereever you're going (at least noone was watching)
• you realise how much procrastination you really did over the weekend...and still going
• you are at uni at 9am on monday morning trying to do work when you don't have a freaking class until 2pm!!!

olga's song for the day: signs [by jt and i don't remember]