ripping lesson #3: RiP AWAY!!! (part 2)

ok girls, so we've gone through the basics of what to do when a guy asks you out. what happens if you are already dating this guy who only now exposes himself as the most arrogant bastard alive? not only that, but he may have the poor misfortune of being too suffocating...being too much of a MUMMY'S BOY...or just being a sleazy, egocentric, self-obsessed MALE. therefore, part 2 is where we move on to the break-up. you may for some reason or another (i would have no idea what these reasons would be) stay with the guy a bit longer...just to see if things change. but there are only three words that need to be said...DUMP THE BASTARD!

Part 2: BREAK-UP

• we'll start with the classic..."it's not you, it's me"...although you could spice it up a bit..."it's not me...it's you...it's definitely you"
• (special jeannie request) "i just don't want to lie to my parents anymore" i HAD to add it in!
• "i love you but i'm not IN love with you"...this is the silliest thing i have ever heard in my entire life...but whatever works
• change your phone number, move addresses and conveniently "forget" to tell your "boyfriend"
• "you're not [insert adjective] enough". we recommend the following adjectives - intelligent, strong, funny, hot, independent...etc
• and if that doesn't kill him...this sure will..."you're not BIG enough"
• "it's not working out...but i still want to be friends...i'll call you"...right..."lose" his phone number right now
• you could just try the good old standby...snob him off until he gets the idea. the message is more clear if you roll your eyes every time you see him
• "i think of you more as a brother"...this one isn't recommended...BECAUSE you are dating this guy, and it would therefore imply that you have been dating your brother. ew.
• snog another guy in full view of your "boyfriend" (this one is only to be done if you have the balls to carry it out)...although this could be counted as "cheating"...so it's not highly recommended. we may rip hearts out, but we do it in an ethical way.

i only just remembered that i had a much better post, which i lost when my bloody computer stuffed up. so rest assured that this is a modified version. hang on to your seats...the lessons are almost done!

dr olga bean....president of viking mistress bloodsports