lesson #1: make guy fall madly in love with you

it's the same story every time. you meet a nice somewhat good looking guy that you get along really well with. he lets on that he is interested. you may even start dating or whatever. until...WHAM...something happens to expose him as the world's biggest, most arrogant and self-centred bastard on this planet.

we recommend that you soften the poor bugger up before you rip his heart out. obviously you are attracted to the guy, so appearing interested is not a problem. it's quite easy really. you just have to ask a friend who is practised in being a floozy. here are some handy tips i have observed from various scenarios. i would rather die than use any of these, but hell...they seem to work.

• "oh you!" (do this while playfully hitting guy on the arm or something)
• wear low cleavage-y tops, or mini skirts. do not wear both as this may indicate that you are a skank
• talk on the phone to him EVERY NIGHT. no wait, don't do this. just talk to him when he calls. if he bothers to call
• appear interested in all he has to say. avoid having a glazed over look. although the guy may be so absorbed in hearing the sound of his own voice, HE WON'T EVEN NOTICE
• compliment him...inflate his ego just that much more.

ok, so these tips will get you started. when and if jeannie ever posts her lesson #1, i will just say to refer to that.

DISCLAIMER #2: in case you cannot detect the sarcasm and BS in the above blog...trust me. it is dripping in my most cynical thoughts.