flirt lesson # 2 : how to lure your prey in

my apologies ladies and gentlemen, but it appears that i have seemingly skipped a rather important and vital step in the subtle (or not so subtle for those incredibly transparent people..i.e moi) art of flirting...capturing the prey (the MAN) in the first place.

so let's start at the beginning...a very good place to start.

chickadees -

one word girlfriends - CLEAVAGE!!! IF YOU'VE GOT THEM THEN FLAUNT THEM
if a guy doesn't pay attention to ya after doing so then there is only one possible explanation...he's gay, never seen them before and have no idea what to do with them...therefore when this occurs, just simply move onto the next unsuspecting typical guy. against popular belief ones' personality has nothing to do with it...

once the MAN has been enticed, then revert to flirt lesson no#1...

dudes -

i frankly have no idea what guys do so i shall instead list some points on what they shouldn't do to hopefully help all you male readers out there to eliminate some of your more common problems..

• one should not wear pink....ever
• one should not have either mullet hair or rat's tail hairstyle...even worse both at the same time
• one should not expose chest (either bare or hairy)...chest viewing not appropriate at this point in time
• (special anne request) one should not have facial hair
• one should not not offer to buy drinks for lady friend
• one should not parade around thinking he is fabio...there is only one thank god.
• one should not begin conversations with how good he is
• one should not think that chic is stupid and too dumb to get where their hypothetical is going or the meaning of their hypothetical
• one should not always develop (stupid, senseless, selfish, egotistical) hypotheticals about themselves and pretend it is "friend of a friend"
• one should not think he is so grand to play (flirt) with more than one chick at one time
• one should not turn down chance of date whilst using mother dearest as excuse
• one should not overly use too many *hand* gestures (wearing pink at same time may give wrong impression)
• one should not yell out "SHE'S HOT" to another chic whilst with a potential
• one should not BE A BASTARD

DISCLAIMER #3 - yet again i would just like to reiterate I AM NOT A GUY...and naturally therefore I DO NOT THINK LIKE A GUY. such revelations have only been done through quiet, inconspicuous and even dangerous observations

and to sign off with an ingenious way to describe what anne and i are trying to say - "sarcasm is a disease, unless one has a good sense of humor..."

Helga