for SALE
free dating service now are we? well, we happen to have a few eligible males to be auctioned off. i'd give them a post each...but they're not that eligible. muahahaahahah.
BACHELOR #1: Mr Allycow
now here's a perfect example of everything you could ask for in a guy. he cooks yummy pasta mixes, he'll drive you home at amazingly daredevil speeds (albeit he needs glasses to drive which you might want to buy him) and he lives in the central area of DONCASTER...which happens to be only 5-10 minutes away from EVERYTHING. he's your typical mr fix-it when it comes to computers, and best of all...HE FINDS OUR BLOG ENTERTAINING. so here's to ali...he's our top eligible male.
BACHELOR #2: Mr Soh
a genuine nice guy, mr soh happens to be good pals with mr allycow. that means good guy by association, right? anyway, mr soh is your "thinker" male...if only his blog was still up. if deep philosophical conversations at the PP are your thing...then go for this one. here is also a guy who will offer to drive you home...even when you wait until the very last second of a night out to ASSUME a ride home from your poor unsuspecting friends. we find mr soh holds many an interesting conversation, contrary to popular belief.
BACHELOR #3: Mr Tom
this one isn't so eligible...but i'm willing to swap him for a better one. it would be a privilege to end up with this one...you'll get to cook and clean for him all the time. in return, he will drive you around in a new car every week (highly recommended) and he scrubs up ok on the odd 1/100000000000000000000000 occasion. this here is your typical manly man...complete with chauvinistic tendencies. no need to take him shopping or account for his dietary requirements...because he has none. there is only one descriptor for this one...garbage disposal diet.
BACHELOR #4: Mr Pinky
now this one is a real winner. unfortunately he's listed as number 4 because...well you'll find out soon enough. mr pinky is a charmer (as noted by helga)...yet this luckily all fades with time. he'll take you shopping to every overpriced place there is in the city...and even show you his $400 jeans of choice. and if there are any girls out there who are in love with the colour pink...then this one is your man. for anyone who wants a guy who is all talk and no action...then pick #4 and you'll score!
BACHELOR #5: Mr W
i had to put this one up for helga. i actually don't know mr w too well...but well...let's see where this one leads us. mr w is only for girls who are ADVENTUROUS and INTELLIGENT. along with this, mr w seems to possess a certain sense of narrow-mindedness that seems common with some of the other bachelors on offer. i'm sure he will help you out with all your studies with his AMAZING POWERBOOK. floozy girls from melbourne uni need only apply.
no time limit for this auction. first in first served i say. we don't discriminate...female or male bidders are welcome. eligible bachelors may also apply for their description up here.
WARNING: severe doses of sarcastic content
BACHELOR #1: Mr Allycow
now here's a perfect example of everything you could ask for in a guy. he cooks yummy pasta mixes, he'll drive you home at amazingly daredevil speeds (albeit he needs glasses to drive which you might want to buy him) and he lives in the central area of DONCASTER...which happens to be only 5-10 minutes away from EVERYTHING. he's your typical mr fix-it when it comes to computers, and best of all...HE FINDS OUR BLOG ENTERTAINING. so here's to ali...he's our top eligible male.
BACHELOR #2: Mr Soh
a genuine nice guy, mr soh happens to be good pals with mr allycow. that means good guy by association, right? anyway, mr soh is your "thinker" male...if only his blog was still up. if deep philosophical conversations at the PP are your thing...then go for this one. here is also a guy who will offer to drive you home...even when you wait until the very last second of a night out to ASSUME a ride home from your poor unsuspecting friends. we find mr soh holds many an interesting conversation, contrary to popular belief.
BACHELOR #3: Mr Tom
this one isn't so eligible...but i'm willing to swap him for a better one. it would be a privilege to end up with this one...you'll get to cook and clean for him all the time. in return, he will drive you around in a new car every week (highly recommended) and he scrubs up ok on the odd 1/100000000000000000000000 occasion. this here is your typical manly man...complete with chauvinistic tendencies. no need to take him shopping or account for his dietary requirements...because he has none. there is only one descriptor for this one...garbage disposal diet.
BACHELOR #4: Mr Pinky
now this one is a real winner. unfortunately he's listed as number 4 because...well you'll find out soon enough. mr pinky is a charmer (as noted by helga)...yet this luckily all fades with time. he'll take you shopping to every overpriced place there is in the city...and even show you his $400 jeans of choice. and if there are any girls out there who are in love with the colour pink...then this one is your man. for anyone who wants a guy who is all talk and no action...then pick #4 and you'll score!
BACHELOR #5: Mr W
i had to put this one up for helga. i actually don't know mr w too well...but well...let's see where this one leads us. mr w is only for girls who are ADVENTUROUS and INTELLIGENT. along with this, mr w seems to possess a certain sense of narrow-mindedness that seems common with some of the other bachelors on offer. i'm sure he will help you out with all your studies with his AMAZING POWERBOOK. floozy girls from melbourne uni need only apply.
no time limit for this auction. first in first served i say. we don't discriminate...female or male bidders are welcome. eligible bachelors may also apply for their description up here.
WARNING: severe doses of sarcastic content
posted by viking_mistresses at 12:47 PM
10 Comments:
oh so many to choose from!! now who should i bid on??
"What do you look for in a girl?"
Someone with passion, who has goals for their life. Well travelled, intelligent, funny, nicely dressed, attractive, and who has an appetite for the more deviant things in life.
Is that so much to ask for?
and can you name any girls who either meet all or some of those qualities?
I don't want to increase competition and decrease my chances by naming girls with those qualities here publicly.
:P
passion: for food
intelligent: macrob says it all -scoffs-
funny: well you laugh at our blog!
nicely dressed: esprit is all i can say
attractive: DAMN FINE
appetite for the more deviant things in life: well i just tried to auction off tom. enough said.
there you go. if i can do it...anyone can!! [olga]
i'm afraid you can't judge yourself on the 'funny, nicely dressed, and attractive' parts.
;)
Wow... I made number 1?!?
*sigh*
Only because I've been there the longest, like the dog pound. :(
well because they're auctioning people off, does it make it more of a slaughterhouse? hehe. top meat. ;)
Like the market... the fish market even...
Actually, no, like the meat market, where we're all hanging on giant hooks. GIANT ones.
I could actually picture the two of them working the over head hooks and conveyor belts, crouched over with their little control panels and buttons snickering to themselves.
Man I hang around here too much.
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