fire and water
"the nice guy syndrome"
we all have at least one male friend who is the sweetest most understanding nice guy...who we will never think of dating...simply because NICE JUST DOESN'T CUT IT.
a reliable source once told me that females have two ladders...the "friend one" where all the guy friends are hanging off...and the "potential one" where you have some male acquaintances you would want to date. very rarely does a male make the jump from the friend ladder to the potential ladder.
i've used many websites in my research of the nice guy syndrome (i know, they're just SO reliable)...and many agree on the traits of the nice guy...these being...
- a pleasant sort of male being
- intelligent and articulate with his words
- decreased romantic confidence and/or success
- has an average level of attractiveness
ok, so i'm ashamed to admit that i've used this nice guy syndrome as an excuse before, along with the many related excuses such as "you're too much of a friend" and all that BS. what women want is a manly sort of man. none of this metrosexual business. women are not used to tears from a man. we want little show of emotions, some gentlemanly behaviour, and someone masculine dammit! and if it's not too much to ask for....someone HOT. someone nice is good, but in small doses. a phone call every now and again is nice....a phone call every night is scary.
yes yes i know that i should keep dreaming. no man like that exists...but is someone with a bit of bite in their character too much to ask? enough of this nice business.
posted by viking_mistresses at 10:30 PM
2 Comments:
Hi,
This post is spot-on. It's something I've thought a lot about myself, having had a lot of friends who've suffered by being placed into the Friend Zone (without consent).
I find the biggest problem is that most guys lack the balls to approach a girl sexually from the start, trying first to develop rapport and later insinuate themselves into a relationship. What they dont realise is that this behaviour is counter-productive, landing them squarely into the Friend Zone and thereby taking away any chance they ever had of entering a romantic relationship with the girl. By the time they find this out verbally, they have developed feelings for the girl and things get messy, hurtful, complicated.
Comments like yours are the exact remedy they need - point-blank assertions by girls that their current 'under the radar' tactics dont work and that they need to pull up their skirts, grab their balls and be Men. A seemingly difficult task these days - especially for would-be Asian Romeos with little sexual experience and few social skills.
Take care.
the vikers have high standards and expectations i see.
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